Women Like Being Valued for Sex, as Long as it is by a Committed Partner

The Erogenous Mirror: Intersubjective and Multisensory Maps of Sexual Arousal in Men and Women

Erogenous zones of the body are sexually arousing when touched. Previous investigations of erogenous zones were restricted to the effects of touch on one's own body. However, sexual interactions do not just involve being touched, but also involve touching a partner and mutually looking at each other's bodies. We take a novel interpersonal approach to characterize the self-reported intensity and distribution of erogenous zones in two modalities: touch and vision. A large internet sample of 613 participants (407 women) completed a questionnaire, where they rated intensity of sexual arousal related to different body parts, both on one's own body and on an imagined partner's body in response to being touched but also being looked at. We report the presence of a multimodal erogenous mirror between sexual partners, as we observed clear correspondences in topographic distributions of self-reported arousal between individuals' own bodies and their preferences for a partner's body, as well as between those elicited by imagined touch and vision. The erogenous body is therefore organized and represented in an interpersonal and multisensory way.

Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do

Our research deals with the question how people look back at their ex-partners—those with whom they were once romantically involved? Such views are important because they may shape our views of current relationships or new (potential) partners. Across three studies (total N = 876), we find that men hold more positive attitudes towards their female ex-partners than women do towards their male ex-partners. Gender-related variables provide further insight into this phenomenon. Ex-partner attitudes correlated positively with more permissive sexual attitudes and the amount of social support that individuals perceived from their ex-partners (both higher in men), whereas the ex-partner attitudes correlated negatively with attributions of greater responsibility for the breakup to ex-partner or relationship itself (both higher in women). Both men and women reported more positive ex-partner attitudes if they were single or had lower breakup acceptance.

Mate Preferences for Warmth-Trustworthiness Predict Romantic Attraction in the Early Stages of Mate Selection and Satisfaction in Ongoing Relationships

People seek warm and trustworthy individuals as long-term mates for numerous reasons. Indeed, such individuals are prone to cooperation, have strong parenting skills, have the ability to fulfill our need to belong, and may provide a relationship that is characterized by greater closeness, protection, acceptance, and safety. Although prior work has shown that both sexes indicate equally strong preferences for these traits in potential mates, few studies have examined whether people actually respond favorably to partners high in warmth-trustworthiness in live mating contexts. We, thus, demonstrated that people’s stated preferences for warmth-trustworthiness (a) predicted their attraction to potential mates in a live mate-selection context (Study 1) and (b) interacted with their partners’ actual traits to predict satisfaction with their marriages (Study 2). Together, these studies demonstrate the importance of partner traits associated with warmth and trustworthiness and add to recent research suggesting that people can accurately report their romantic-partner preferences.

Women Can Benefit From Sexual and Physical Valuation in the Context of a Romantic Relationship

Women are frequently valued for their sexuality and physical appearance, and there is theoretical reason to believe that the effects of such valuation depend on the context. A robust body of research demonstrates that such valuation from male strangers harms women's self-esteem; the current studies, however, tested whether women experience more positive outcomes when such valuation emerges in the context of their romantic relationships. Study 1 used an event-based diary study to demonstrate that when partners (vs. male strangers) draw attention to women's sexuality and physical appearance, those women report higher appearance esteem and, subsequently, higher self-esteem. Study 2 used data from two independent, longitudinal studies of newlywed couples to demonstrate that partner sexual and physical valuation has positive implications for women's self-esteem over time. These findings highlight that sexual and physical valuation is not inherently beneficial or harmful; rather, the implications of such valuation depend on the relationship context.