Strategies for Mitigating Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Relationships

A Qualitative Content Analysis of Perceived Individual and Relational Consequences of Sexual Compliance and Their Contributors

Sexual compliance (i.e., consensually engaging in sex despite a lack of desire for it) is common in committed intimate relationships, but the consequences of compliance for the well-being of the individual and the relationship are poorly understood. We investigated the perceived consequences of sexual compliance and perceptions of factors contributing to negative/positive consequences by applying qualitative content analysis to free-text retrospective survey responses from 107 (mostly) Finnish adults. We identified five themes of personal consequences (emotions and mood, sexual experience, sexual desire, pressure and violations, and physical pain), four of relational consequences (relationship satisfaction, partner's response, relationship interaction, and value alignment), and nine of possible factors contributing to negative/positive consequences (communication, self-esteem, motives for sex, relationship factors, agency and self-knowledge, mental health and stress, psychological flexibility, societal norms, and past negative experiences). Perceived consequences varied widely across individuals, both in terms of whether any positive or negative consequences were experienced and whether compliance was perceived as improving or worsening specific domains of well-being. We discuss the themes identified in relation to previous theories of sexuality and intimate relationships and offer hypotheses that can be tested in future quantitative studies.

"It's an ongoing discussion about desire": Adults' strategies for managing sexual and affectionate desire discrepancies in romantic relationships

Desire discrepancies are a common source of relationship conflict and one reason adults may seek couples counseling. Within romantic relationships, adults individually experience sexual and affectionate desire, but also experience desire relative to their partner. If desire discrepancies exist, partners may attempt to resolve these discrepancies. Thus, we examined adults' strategies for managing sexual and affectionate desire discrepancies. Our sample consisted of 300 adults (45% women; Mage = 29.5; 86.3% LGBTQ+) who were in a romantic relationship and reported a desire discrepancy. Thematic analysis revealed five strategies for managing desire discrepancies: alternative behaviors, communication, doing nothing, engaging in behaviors anyway, and giving control to a specific partner. Adults reported similar strategies for resolving sexual and affectionate desire discrepancies. Perceived effectiveness and strategies varied by whether adults thought that their discrepancies were problematic. Our findings hold implications for clinicians approaching problematic desire discrepancies, and suggest strategies that may promote effective resolutions.

Rose Colored Glasses: An Exploration of the Relationship between Sexual Nostalgia and Sexual Satisfaction

Sexual satisfaction contributes significantly to one's quality of life and offers a variety of mental and physical health benefits. Consequently, numerous studies have examined ways to improve sexual satisfaction. However, no research has investigated how sexual nostalgia (i.e., "the sentimental longing for or wistful reflection on past sexual memories," p. 1539) with one's current partner impacts sexual satisfaction. Thus, this program of research was designed to develop the Sexual Nostalgia Inventory, assess the relationship between sexual nostalgia and sexual satisfaction, and to examine the moderating role of romantic attachment. The results of Study One (N = 227) indicated that the content of sexual memories can be conceptualized into one factor. The results from Study Two (N = 619) revealed that sexual nostalgia was positively related to sexual satisfaction and that romantic attachment moderated these relationships. In particular, the positive association between sexual nostalgia and satisfaction was greatest for those insecurely attached (i.e., those high in anxious and avoidant attachment). These findings have important implications for researchers looking to establish the causal link between nostalgia and satisfaction and clinicians working with couples experiencing low sexual desire and/or unmet sexual needs.

Initial Motivations for Engaging in Polyamorous Relationships

Polyamory is a relationship style in which partners consensually agree to engage in sexual and/or emotional relationships with concurrent partners. Compared with other forms of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), polyamory practitioners tend to report greater relationship satisfaction and less jealousy. However, the unique motivations leading people to engage with polyamory are less understood. Previous research has examined motivations for engaging in CNM relationship styles, in general, but no research has focused exclusively on the motivations of polyamory practitioners. The present study draws on the open-ended responses of 63 U.S. American adults who reported previous or current engagement in at least one consensually polyamorous relationship. Thematic analyses revealed four themes guiding participants' initial motivations for polyamory engagement: values alignment, relationship factors, external triggers, and sexuality. The study's themes are discussed in the context of self-determination theory and situated in the existing body of CNM and polyamory research. Directions for future research provide next steps for examining outcomes associated with specific polyamory motivations.

Orgasm Consistency in Mixed-Gender Couples: Actor, Partner, and Discrepancy Effects from Dyadic Response Surface Analysis

The potential link between orgasm consistency (i.e., the percentage of time an individual experiences orgasm during sexual interactions with a partner) and sexual satisfaction in mixed-gender sexual relationships remains underexamined in the literature. We combined two dyadic samples (N = 725 couples) and utilized Dyadic Response Surface Analysis (DRSA) to examine how both partners' orgasm consistency and their discrepancy of orgasm consistency predict both partners' sexual satisfaction. We found that partners' discrepancy in orgasm consistency was not uniquely connected to higher sexual satisfaction for either women or men; rather, the overall consistency of orgasm was connected to better sexual satisfaction for both partners. In addition, there was some evidence tentatively suggesting that men were more likely than women to report lower sexual satisfaction if his partner was orgasming more consistently than he was, as opposed to her reporting lower sexual satisfaction from him orgasming more consistently than she was; though this appears to be a rare scenario as only 5.9% of couples had women who orgasmed more consistently than men. This study may assist educators and clinicians as they help couples consider the sexual scripts surrounding orgasm consistency, and how they can attend to each others' desires in a way that maximizes sexual satisfaction for both partners.

Regulate and Communicate: Associations between Emotion Regulation and Sexual Communication among Men with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and their Partners

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) is characterized by a persistent and distressing lack of sexual desire. Affected men report lower sexual well-being and romantic partners may also experience consequences. According to the Interpersonal Emotion Regulation Model of sexual dysfunction, how couples manage their emotions in relation to sexual problems may promote or hinder sexual communication. In the first dyadic study to date of men with HSDD and their partners (n = 64 couples), we investigated associations between two emotion regulation strategies - reappraisal and suppression - and couples' communication about their sexual relationship. Participants completed measures assessing use of reappraisal and suppression about their sexual relationship, sexual communication, and sexual assertiveness. Men with HSDD who reported greater suppression also reported lower sexual assertiveness and both partners reported poorer sexual communication. Partners of men with HSDD who used greater suppression were less sexually assertive. In contrast, while reappraisal was only marginally associated with perceived quality of sexual communication, men with HSDD who employed more reappraisal were also more sexually assertive. While suppression may hinder sexual communication, reappraisal may allow men with HSDD to better assert their sexual needs. Findings may inform interventions to help couples navigate impactful emotional experiences associated with HSDD.

Sexual Satisfaction Mediates the Effects of the Quality of Dyadic Sexual Communication on the Degree of Perceived Sexual Desire Discrepancy

Difficulties related to sexual desire discrepancy are among the most common complaints in people seeking help in therapy. The aims of the current study were to test a mediation model using a bootstrapping procedure where the quality of the dyadic sexual communication plays a key role in increasing or diminishing the degree of perceived sexual desire discrepancy through sexual satisfaction. An online survey was administered through social media to N = 369 participants involved in a romantic relationship, measuring the quality of dyadic sexual communication, sexual satisfaction, the degree of the perceived sexual desire discrepancy, and a series of relevant covariates. As expected, the mediation model showed that a better quality of dyadic sexual communication is related to a lower degree of perceived sexual desire discrepancy through increased sexual satisfaction (β = -0.17, SE = 0.05, [95% CI = -0.27, -0.07]). The effect held over and above the effect of the relevant covariates. The theoretical and practical implications of the present study are discussed.

The Sexual Communication Scale (SeCS)

Many measures of comfort and frequency of sexual communication between partners are limited in gender/sex and sexual orientation inclusivity, how constructs are measured, and for whom. We conducted two studies to investigate a revised and extended version of the Female Partner's Communication During Sexual Activity Scale: the Sexual Communication Scale (SeCS). We revised the gender/sex language to improve inclusion and added items to assess frequency and comfort with sexual communication. In Study 1, an exploratory factor analysis (n = 578) supported a three-factor structure (Frequency of bidirectional communication, α = .96; Ease of own communication, α = .90; Ease of partner's communication, α = .83). In Study 2, a confirmatory factor analysis (n = 1479) further supported the three-factor structure. Specifically, the three-factor model provided a reasonably good fit (χ2 (44) = 511.35, p < .001, CFI = .97, GFI = .95, AGFI = .91, SRMR = .00, RMSEA = .08). In both studies, we found small or no differences in men and women's comfort and frequency of sexual communication. The results provide initial support that the SeCS is an internally consistent, multidimensional gender/sex inclusive tool for future research on sexual communication.

Ebbs and Flows of Desire: A Qualitative Exploration of Contextual Factors Affecting Sexual Desire in Bisexual, Lesbian, and Straight Women

Previous research has found that sexual desire ebbs and flows over time within and across relationships, leading to instances of desire discrepancy. The purpose of the present study was to understand factors that may contribute to desire and desire discrepancy and examine differences and similarities across women from diverse sexual identity groups. The present qualitative study involved semi-structured interviews with 31 women (10 bisexual, 8 lesbian, and 13 straight). We identified six main themes (changes across lifespan, hormonal influences, mental and physical health, objective of desire, partner dynamics, external factors) with 21 subthemes. The findings showed more similarities between the women than differences.