He said, she said: Men’s reports of mate value and mate retention behaviors in intimate relationships

Mate-value and relationship satisfaction: The moderating roles of mate retention behaviors

Previous research indicates that mate retention strategies are associated with mate value and affect relationship satisfaction. The current research aimed to replicate previous findings in a non-WEIRD society (Iran) and to extend this research by investigating the moderating roles of individual and coalitional mate retention. Participants (n = 754; 416 women) in a committed, heterosexual relationship from two independent samples reported (1) their relationship satisfaction, (2) their partner's mate value, (3) the frequency of performing individual mate retention, and (4) the frequency of requesting coalitional mate retention. Results indicated that there were positive associations between mate value, individual and coalitional Benefit-Provisioning mate retention behaviors, and relationship satisfaction. We found negative associations between individual and coalitional Cost-Inflicting mate retention behaviors and relationship satisfaction. We found that mate retention moderated the relationship between mate value and relationship satisfaction. Limitations of the current study are noted, and future directions are discussed.

The psychology of breakup sex: Exploring the motivational factors and affective consequences of post-breakup sexual activity

Popular culture has recently publicized a seemingly new postbreakup behavior called breakup sex. While the media expresses the benefits of participating in breakup sex, there is no research to support these claimed benefits. The current research was designed to begin to better understand this postbreakup behavior. In the first study, we examined how past breakup sex experiences made the individuals feel and how people predict they would feel in the future (n = 212). Results suggested that men are more likely than women to have felt better about themselves, while women tend to state they felt better about the relationship after breakup sex. The second study (n = 585) investigated why men and women engage in breakup sex. Results revealed that most breakup sex appears to be motivated by three factors: relationship maintenance, hedonism, and ambivalence. Men tended to support hedonistic and ambivalent reasons for having breakup sex more often than women. The two studies revealed that breakup sex may be differentially motivated (and may have different psychological consequences) for men and women and may not be as beneficial as the media suggests.

Evolutionary Mismatch in Mating

Evolutionary mismatch concepts are being fruitfully employed in a number of research domains, including medicine, health, and human cognition and behavior to generate novel hypotheses and better understand existing findings. We contend that research on human mating will benefit from explicitly addressing both the evolutionary mismatch of the people we study and the evolutionary mismatch of people conducting the research. We identified nine mismatch characteristics important to the study of human mating and reviewed the literature related to each of these characteristics. Many of the people we study are: exposed to social media, in temporary relationships, relocatable, autonomous in their mating decisions, nulliparous, in groups that are socially segmented, in an educational setting, confronted with lots of options, and young. We applied mismatch concepts to each characteristic to illustrate the importance of incorporating mismatch into this research area. Our aim in this paper is not to identify all potential mismatch effects in mating research, nor to challenge or disqualify existing data. Rather, we demonstrate principled ways of thinking about evolutionary mismatch in order to propel progress in mating research. We show how attending to the potential effects of mismatch can help us refine our theoretical and methodological approaches and deepen our understanding of existing patterns in the empirical record. We conclude with specific recommendations about how to include consideration of evolutionary mismatch into research on human mating.

Deceptive Affectionate Messages: Mate Retention Deployed Under the Threat of Partner Infidelity

Deceptive affectionate messages (DAMs) have been proposed to act as relational maintenance techniques and, as such, might be part of a greater repertoire of mate retention behaviors. We analyzed data from 1,993 Mechanical Turk participants to examine the relations between DAMs and mate retention, and whether these relations were mediated by the perceived risk of partner infidelity. In line with predictions, frequency of DAMs positively predicted general mate retention and cost-inflicting mate retention through the perceived risk of partner infidelity. In line with our nondirectional prediction, we also found that frequency of DAMs negatively predicted benefit-provisioning mate retention behaviors. In an exploratory mediation analysis of DAMs on benefit-provisioning mate retention via perceived partner infidelity, we surprisingly found that DAMs negatively predicted benefit-provisioning behavior due to the perceived risk of partner infidelity, suggesting that DAMs-but not benefit-provisioning mate retention-are deployed under the threat of partner infidelity. Overall, these findings suggest that DAMs might belong to a greater repertoire of mate retention (especially cost-inflicting) behaviors to thwart the possibility of partner infidelity.

Affection, Deception, and Evolution: Deceptive Affectionate Messages as Mate Retention Behaviors

This study explored how partner mate value (PMV) and factors indicative of the relational climate (i.e., commitment and satisfaction) might affect individuals' tendency to use deceptive affectionate messages (DAMs). Participants ( N = 203) responded to a survey including measures regarding these variables. Contrary to predictions, PMV and the tendency to engage in DAMs were significantly and negatively associated with one another. Analyses further indicated that commitment significantly moderated the negative association between PMV and DAMs. The present study also provided evidence that when commitment to the relationship is low, satisfaction mediates the negative association between PMV and DAMs.

Monogamy versus Consensual Non-Monogamy: Alternative Approaches to Pursuing a Strategically Pluralistic Mating Strategy

This study examined the frequency of partner-directed mate retention behaviors and several self- and partner-rated romantic relationship evaluations (i.e., sociosexuality, relationship satisfaction, mate value, and partner ideal measures) within monogamous and consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships. Measures were compared (1) between monogamous and CNM participants and (2) between two concurrent partners within each CNM relationship (i.e., primary and secondary partners). We found that individuals in currently monogamous relationships (n = 123) performed more mate retention behaviors compared to those currently in CNM relationships (n = 76). Within CNM relationships, participants reported engaging in more mate retention behaviors with primary partners compared to secondary partners. Likewise, CNM participants reported talking about their extra-dyadic sexual experiences and downplaying these sexual experiences more often with their primary partner compared to their secondary partner. There were no significant differences between ratings of monogamous and primary partners in participants' overall relationship satisfaction. However, monogamous participants reported less satisfaction with the amount of communication and openness they had with their partner compared to CNM participants' reports of their primary partner, but not secondary partner. By comparison, CNM participants reported higher overall relationship satisfaction with primary compared to secondary partners and considered their primary partner to be more desirable as a long-term mate than their secondary partner. We interpret these results within the context of previous research on monogamous and CNM relationships and hypothesize that these relationship configurations are alternative strategies for pursuing a strategically pluralistic mating strategy.

Female perception of a partner's mate value discrepancy and controlling behaviour in romantic relationships

Mate value discrepancy (MVD) between heterosexual partners is an important factor influencing relationship satisfaction which, in turn, has an effect on the quality and the stability of the relationship. Therefore, partners' involvement in mate retention behaviours, such as controlling behaviours, can be related to MVD and our study aims to determine whether such an association exists. In order to do so, we analysed female perception of MVD and their opinion regarding the intensity of controlling behaviours performed by themselves as well as their romantic partners. Female perception of the intensity of controlling behaviours performed by both partners was the highest in couples where a woman assesses her own mate value (MV) as higher than her partner's MV and significantly different than in relationships where male MV exceeded those of the female. Our study also indicates that MVD should be taken into account when analysing sex differences in intensities of mate retention behaviours. Finally, we provide evidence supporting the significance of the relationship length for controlling behaviour intensity. Findings are discussed within an evolutionary perspective.

Mate Value Discrepancy and Mate Retention Behaviors of Self and Partner

OBJECTIVE

This study investigated the relationship between perceived mate value discrepancy (i.e., the difference between an individual's mate value and their partner's mate value) and perceived frequency of mate retention performed by an individual relative to his or her partner.

METHOD

In two studies, participants in long-term, exclusive, sexual, heterosexual relationships reported their own, and their partner's, mate value and mate retention. Samples included 899 community members (Study 1) and 941 students and community members (Study 2).

RESULTS

In Study 1, we documented that individuals with higher self-perceived short-term mate value, and who perceive their partner to have lower (vs. higher) short-term mate value, perform less frequent Benefit-Provisioning mate retention, controlling for the partner's Benefit-Provisioning mate retention. In Study 2, we documented that individuals who perceive that they could less easily replace their partner, and who perceive their partner could more (vs. less) easily replace them, perform more frequent mate retention (Benefit-Provisioning and Cost-Inflicting), controlling for the partner's mate retention.

CONCLUSION

These results highlight the importance of assessing perceived discrepancies in mate value (notably, regarding the replaceability of self and partner with another long-term mate) and perceived mate retention behaviors of self, relative to partner, between men and women in long-term relationships.

Heterosexual Rejection and Mate Choice: A Sociometer Perspective

Previous studies about the effects of social rejection on individuals' social behaviors have produced mixed results and tend to study mating behaviors from a static point of view. However, mate selection in essence is a dynamic process, and therefore sociometer theory opens up a new perspective for studying mating and its underlying practices. Based on this theory and using self-perceived mate value in the relationship between heterosexual rejection and mate choice as a mediating role, this current study examined the effects of heterosexual rejection on mate choice in two experiments. Results showed that heterosexual rejection significantly reduced self-perceived mate value, expectation, and behavioral tendencies, while heterosexual acceptance indistinctively increased these measures. Self-perceived mate value did not serve as a mediator in the relationship between heterosexual rejection and mate expectation, but it mediated the relationship between heterosexual rejection and mating behavior tendencies toward potential objects. Moreover, individuals evaded both rejection and irrelevant people when suffering from rejection.