Sorrow: a therapist's reflection on the inevitable and the unknowable

Chronic Sorrow in Stage 4 Cancer: A Spiritual Challenge

Living with Stage 4 cancer impacts how individuals conceptualize themselves and how they conduct their everyday lives. Within this synopsis, I describe my experiences living with progressing Stage 4 breast cancer. The construct of chronic sorrow is applied to my experiences. I suggest that grief and chronic sorrow are largely spiritual issues and give examples of my spiritual practices. Finally, recommendations are offered for healthcare professionals.

The Experience of Chronic Sorrow among Indonesian Mothers Who have Suffered Recent Perinatal Loss

Background: Perinatal death results in physical loss of a child as well as symbolic loss (loss of self, hope and self-esteem) experienced by many parents. Loss is often expressed via a grief response that can develop into chronic sorrow. Ineffective coping strategies may increase susceptibility to complications associated with chronic sorrow. These complications can include clinical depression, dysthymic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, attachment disorder, drug dependence, psychosis, and suicidal ideation. Therefore, it is crucial to understand the barriers and facilitators to chronic sorrow particularly among vulnerable populations.   Aim: To explore the experience of chronic sorrow among Indonesian women who have suffered perinatal loss.  Methods: The present qualitative study utilized a descriptive phenomenological approach. Participants included women who experienced chronic sorrow due to perinatal loss within the past seven weeks to three years. Maximum variation sampling was used based on women’s current number of children. Data were collected using semi-structured interviews and analyzed using a modified Stevick-Colaizzi-Keen method.   Results: Three key themes emerged from the data: (1) recurrent experiences of grief are common particularly when exposed to certain triggers (memories from pregnancy, mementos); (2) adequate coping strategies and emotional support are needed to help treat grief; and (3) specific characteristics of chronic sorrow are associated with perinatal loss, such as grief that feels diminished and the presence of another child serving as both a cure and a trigger of sorrow.  Conclusion: Chronic sorrow as a result of perinatal loss is experienced repeatedly when mothers face certain triggers. We have identified two characteristics (diminished grief, having another child serve to both cure and trigger sorrow) that are specific to the experience of chronic sorrow compared to that of general grief. It is important to understand the experience of chronic sorrow and how coping strategies and a support system can help grieving mothers to overcome their loss. 

Elements of Suffering in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: The Experience of Loss, Grief, Stigma, and Trauma in the Severely and Very Severely Affected

People who are severely and very severely affected by Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) experience profound suffering. This suffering comes from the myriad of losses these patients experience, the grief that comes from these losses, the ongoing stigma that is often experienced as a person with a poorly understood, controversial chronic illness, and the trauma that can result from how other people and the health care community respond to this illness. This review article examines the suffering of patients with ME/CFS through the lens of the Fennell Four-Phase Model of chronic illness. Using a systems approach, this phase framework illustrates the effects of suffering on the patient and can be utilized to help the clinician, patient, family, and caregivers understand and respond to the patient's experiences. We highlight the constructs of severity, uncertainty, ambiguity, and chronicity and their role in the suffering endured by patients with ME/CFS. A composite case example is used to illustrate the lives of severely and very severely affected patients. Recommendations for health care providers treating patients with ME/CFS are given and underscore the importance of providers understanding the intense suffering that the severely and very severely affected patients experience.

Neurocognitive Impairment: Addressing Couple and Family Challenges

Conditions involving neurocognitive impairment pose enormous challenges to couples and families. However, research and practice tend to focus narrowly on immediate issues for individual caregivers and their dyadic relationship with the affected member. A broad family systems approach with attention to family processes over time is needed in training, practice, and research. In this paper, Rolland's Family Systems Illness model provides a guiding framework to consider the interaction of different psychosocial types of neurocognitive conditions and their evolution over time with individual, couple, and family life-course development. Discussion addresses key family and couple issues with mild-to-severe cognitive impairment and progressive dementias, including: communication, multigenerational legacies, threatened future neurocognitive disability, ambiguous loss, decisional capacity, reaching limits, placement decisions, issues for adult children and spousal caregivers, and the transformation of intimate bonds. Principles and guidelines are offered to help couples and families master complex challenges, deepen bonds, and forge positive pathways ahead.

Silence and Memories of War: An Autoethnographic Exploration of Family Secrecy

A personal journey and a scientific challenge, this is an autoethnographic study about my own family's secrecy. I knew my grandfather had been a German prisoner of war during World War II. We all knew. But nobody talked about it. Then one day I decided I wanted to do systematic research on the issue of family secrecy around my grandfather's war experiences. Researching one's own family can be called autoethnography. It could be said that autoethnography is an approach to research that aims to describe and systemically analyze (graphy) personal experience (auto) to understand social and cultural phenomena (ethno). This scientific approach is quite new in the field of family therapy. This study has been an important personal quest, but it also led to important reflections on silences in families, on my own professional development, and on methodological issues concerning autoethnographical research. For one thing, it highlights some of the positive aspects of family secrecy and silences, and invites us-when confronted with family secrecy in clinical practice-to carefully consider the potential destructive and life-giving aspects of the silence.

Unreliable Bodies: A Follow-up Twenty Years Later by a Mother and Daughter about the Impact of Illness and Disability on their Lives

We are a mother and daughter, both health care professionals, who offer a follow-up to an article we published twenty years ago about the impact of each other's ongoing, serious medical problems on our relationship. In this article, we contribute a long-term perspective on the differences between having an illness that is well or poorly understood by medical professionals and the lay community. We also discuss health in the context of identity formation and life stage, as during this interval the daughter left home, graduated college, married, and had two children. Also in this period, the mother survived a third breast cancer and other life-threatening illnesses. We discuss the impact of these experiences on each other and in other important relationships in our lives. Current discourses on daughters of breast cancer survivors do not fit our experience and we speculate about why our story differs. We find that although we continue to contend with serious medical issues that impact our own, each other's, and our families' lives, nonetheless, our lives are rich, rewarding, and "appropriate" for our life stage. That is the news.

The advance of poststructuralism and its influence on family therapy

Postmodernism began to influence family therapy very early in the 1980s with articles referencing postmodern ideas, focusing on meaning and multiplicity. With the appearance of narrative therapy on the scene in the 1990s there was a shift toward poststructural thinking, which refined the movement and politicized the clinical work. Even with a bit of a backlash, whether because this was a new idea or it somehow threatened a positivistic culture, a poststructural view has continued to have effects on family therapy. This article explores the variety of influences: the expansion of narrative ideas, the innovation of Madsen's collaborative helping, and also more nuanced effects. I argue that a poststructural view has effectively changed how many family therapists think and may also be subtly influencing how they might work.

Female receptivity and secondary traumatization in the family

This paper addresses the question of gendered receptivity to Secondary Traumatic Syndrome (STS) in the family. Unlike other manifestations of distress in the family, where gender comparisons are a matter of course, very few such comparisons are made in studies of STS. Review of the findings of 12 studies, the only studies, to date, that provide data enabling the comparison of STS in males and females, shows that females in the family, whether daughters, wives, or mothers, are consistently more likely than the males, whether sons, husbands, or fathers, to experience the Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms of a traumatized family member without having experienced the traumatic event itself. This pattern pertains to whether the event that precipitated the primary trauma was a collective or individual trauma and whether the STS sufferer was a child or adult or living or not living with the PTSD casualty. The Discussion points out that gender is an important factor in the development of STS, whether in interaction with role, beyond role, or both.

Quality of life, treatment adherence, and locus of control: multiple family groups for chronic medical illnesses

The Multiple Family Groups (MFGs) approach for patients with a chronic medical illness and their families is a structured psychoeducational program that unfolds in six weekly 90-minute sessions. In the MFGs, patients and family members explore new ways to balance illness and nonillness priorities in family life (Steinglass, 1998; Steinglass, 2000 Cuadernos de Terapia Familiar, 44-45, 11; Steinglass, Ostroff, & Steinglass, 2011 Family Process, 50, 393).

The "cruel radiance of what is": helping couples live with chronic illness

The threat of no longer being the person one wants to be hovers over each ill person and plays out relationally. The dynamic interplay of this experience of self-loss and other-loss (Roos, 2002; Weingarten, 2012) has a significant impact on couples, both of whom may come to have both experiences. In this article, I focus on the couples' experience of self- and other-loss in the context of chronic illness, in which one person's experience flows into and informs the other's. In particular, I describe how asymmetric acknowledgment of self-loss and other-loss adds to the misery of couples who are already challenged by poor health. Physical pain also makes dealing with self- and other-loss harder. Therapists can serve couples better if they take a fully collaborative stance; appreciate the dilemmas of witnessing; help couples distinguish new trauma from retraumatization and fear; work with the weaver's dilemma and the boatman's plight (Weingarten, 2012); and are comfortable with discussion of end of life issues.