Applying Theories of Communal Motivation to Sexuality

A Narrative Review of the Dichotomy Between the Social Views of Non-Monogamy and the Experiences of Consensual Non-Monogamous People

Monogamy is deeply rooted in most Western societies, shaping how people construe and behave in romantic relationships. These normative views facilitate the emergence of negative perceptions and evaluations when people choose not to adhere to mononormativity. Even though people in consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships are targets of stigmatization, research shows a dichotomy between these negative views and the relational experiences of CNM people. Indeed, people in CNM and monogamous relationships have comparable relationship functioning and quality and struggle with similar relationship problems. One of the differences is that CNM relationships afford people to explore their sexuality and fulfill their needs with multiple partners, without agreed-upon extradyadic behavior being perceived as infidelity or having deleterious consequences to relationship maintenance. These positive experiences notwithstanding, CNM people are continuously pressured by mononormativity and stigmatization, increasing the risk of internalized CNM negativity and worse personal and relational outcomes. One possible way to counteract CNM stigmatization and improve the lives of CNM people is by changing discourses surrounding non-monogamy and improving acceptance, not only in professional settings but also in the general population. Another strategy is to understand how the relationship beliefs and scripts of younger generations can help promote more inclusive and diverse societies.

Rose Colored Glasses: An Exploration of the Relationship between Sexual Nostalgia and Sexual Satisfaction

Sexual satisfaction contributes significantly to one's quality of life and offers a variety of mental and physical health benefits. Consequently, numerous studies have examined ways to improve sexual satisfaction. However, no research has investigated how sexual nostalgia (i.e., "the sentimental longing for or wistful reflection on past sexual memories," p. 1539) with one's current partner impacts sexual satisfaction. Thus, this program of research was designed to develop the Sexual Nostalgia Inventory, assess the relationship between sexual nostalgia and sexual satisfaction, and to examine the moderating role of romantic attachment. The results of Study One (N = 227) indicated that the content of sexual memories can be conceptualized into one factor. The results from Study Two (N = 619) revealed that sexual nostalgia was positively related to sexual satisfaction and that romantic attachment moderated these relationships. In particular, the positive association between sexual nostalgia and satisfaction was greatest for those insecurely attached (i.e., those high in anxious and avoidant attachment). These findings have important implications for researchers looking to establish the causal link between nostalgia and satisfaction and clinicians working with couples experiencing low sexual desire and/or unmet sexual needs.

Exploring the association between sexual motivation and quality of life in China and the United Kingdom

Previous research suggests that different sexual motivations may be associated with different sexual behaviours and levels of sexual satisfaction, and these may vary with cultural differences. As such, sexual motivations and cultural factors might also be associated with quality of life (QoL); however, this has not yet been explored. Using a biopsychosocial approach, this study aimed to explore associations between sexual motivation and quality of life between participants in the United Kingdom and China. 276 participants (143 British, 133 Chinese, mean age = 21.5 years) completed an anonymous online survey including validated measures for sexual motivation (YSEX?-SF) and QoL (WHOQOL-BREF). In multivariable linear regressions, pleasure motivations for sex were associated with increased physical health QoL (aOR = 0.20, 95%CI:.15-.65), while love and commitment motivations were associated with increased psychological health QoL (aOR = 0.13, 95%CI:.01-.43). Both love and commitment motivations (aOR = 0.21, 95%CI:.09-.35) and pleasure motivations (aOR = 0.20, 95%CI:.08-.36) were associated with increased social support QoL. A significant interaction was found between emotional motivations and culture (p = 0.037) such that among individuals from China, emotional motivations (i.e., love and commitment and expression) were positively associated with psychological QoL. This suggests culture may differentially affect how sexual motivations are associated with QoL and warrants further consideration in future research.

The benefits (and costs) of sexual responsiveness in romantic relationships

Sex is one unique way people can show responsiveness in romantic relationships. Being and having a sexually responsive partner-who is understanding and motivated to make sexual compromises-is associated with sexual desire maintenance, sexual satisfaction, and relationship quality, especially when partners have different sexual interests or are coping with sexual issues. But, if being responsive to a partner's sexual needs involves self-neglect, sexual responsiveness no longer has these benefits and can be costly. Future research on sexual responsiveness should involve the development of a comprehensive measure incorporating lay perceptions and considering gendered sexual expectations, and an investigation of the balance between sexual autonomy and responsiveness in relationships.

Motives between the Sheets: Understanding Obligation for Sex at Midlife and Associations with Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction

Reasons for sex are associated with sexual and relational outcomes. This study investigated reasons for sex at last sex, with a focus on obligation (an avoidance motivation) and doing something nice for a partner (an approach motivation), and their associations with sexual and relationship satisfaction, while controlling for marital duration, age, and sexual desire. We investigated these reasons among married, midlife Canadian women (n = 324), men (n = 275), and 25 non-binary/gender queer participants 40 to 59 years of age. Participants were recruited from a Qualtrics analytics panel and completed an online questionnaire. Obligation was reported as a reason for having sex by 12.4% of women and 1.8% of men; "doing something nice" was reported by 10.2% of women and 9.5% of men. In regression analyses, women who reported having sex for obligation had significantly lower relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction than women who did not report this reason. In contrast, having sex to do something nice for one's partner was associated with higher sexual satisfaction among women. Findings indicate that having sex when feeling obligated may be associated with negative sexual and relational outcomes among midlife women.

What Does It Mean to Be Responsive to a Partner's Sexual Needs? Toward a Definition of Sexual Need Responsiveness

Being responsive to a partner's sexual needs in relationships (i.e., sexual need responsiveness) is associated with higher sexual and relationship satisfaction. Previous research has focused on researcher-led definitions of sexual need responsiveness. The purpose of the present study was to develop a participant-informed definition of sexual need responsiveness. A total of 305 individuals responded to five open-ended questions concerning the definition and behaviors pertaining to sexual need responsiveness. The content analysis results showed that the most common elements in participants' definition included listening to and accommodating each other's sexual needs and wishes whenever possible, while respecting both partners' safety and boundaries. Both verbal and non-verbal communication in various forms was used to express and share needs with partners and participants often evaluated responsiveness in terms of their sexual satisfaction. The results provide a participant-informed definition of sexual need responsiveness and can be used to inform research and clinical practice.

Gender Inequities in Household Labor Predict Lower Sexual Desire in Women Partnered with Men

Low sexual desire in women is usually studied as a problem, one that is located within women. However, other possibilities exist, including known gender inequities related to heteronormative gender roles. In this study, we provide the first test of the theory that heteronormativity is related to low sexual desire in women partnered with men, focusing specifically on inequities in the division of household labor. In two studies with women who were partnered with men and had children (Study 1, N = 677; Study 2, N = 396), performing a large proportion of household labor was associated with significantly lower sexual desire for a partner. Together, the results suggest that this association was mediated by both perceiving the partner as a dependent and perceiving the division of labor as unfair. These results support the heteronormativity theory of low sexual desire in women partnered with men, and show that gender inequities are important, though understudied, contributors to low desire in women partnered with men.

Dyadic Sexual Desire in Romantic Relationships: The Dyadic Interactions Affecting Dyadic Sexual Desire Model

In most theoretical models, sexual desire for one's partner is predominantly conceptualized from an individual perspective. There is, however, a growing body of empirical evidence on the dyadic aspects of sexual desire. That evidence is as yet not well-integrated into theoretical conceptualizations of sexual desire. Aiming to fill this gap, we present the Dyadic Interactions Affecting DyadIC Sexual desire model (DIADICS), a new conceptual model inspired by systems theory that describes how dyadic interactions between partners influence dyadic sexual desire in romantic relationships. After defining dyadic sexual desire, we discuss (1) the structure of dyadic interactions, (2) their content, and (3) the process through which they affect dyadic sexual desire in a romantic relationship. Thereafter, we review theoretical, clinical, and empirical insights underscoring the relation between dyadic interactions and (dyadic) sexual desire, use DIADICS as a framework for understanding fluctuations in dyadic sexual desire in long-term relationships, and conclude by discussing implications of DIADICS for research and clinical practice.

Leading Better Sex Lives: Is Trait Charisma Associated with Higher Sexual Desire and Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships?

Sexuality is a key predictor of relationship satisfaction, but sexual desire and satisfaction can be difficult to maintain over time. Past research has investigated who might be more likely to experience higher (compared to lower) levels of desire and sexual satisfaction in their relationships. Certain aspects of personality, such as extraversion, have been associated with sexual satisfaction and desire, but evidence linking personality to sexual outcomes has generally been mixed, meaning there is a lot left to learn about how personality is associated with sexual well-being. A promising, yet unexplored, trait that could be associated with higher sexual desire and satisfaction is charisma-a combination of influence and affability that has been identified as a desirable trait when people are selecting a romantic or sexual partner. Across two studies-a cross-sectional study of individuals in relationships (N = 413) and a 21-day dyadic daily experience study (N = 121 couples)-people higher in charisma reported being more communal during sex and reported higher sexual desire and satisfaction. Through higher sexual communal strength, people with a charismatic partner also reported higher daily sexual desire and sexual satisfaction. The effects were largely retained above and beyond general communal strength and Big Five personality dimensions, although in Study 1, charisma was no longer associated with sexual desire and satisfaction when controlling for extraversion. The current findings provide initial evidence that charismatic people tend to be responsive to their partner's sexual needs, which is associated with higher desire and sexual satisfaction in romantic relationships.

Will I have sex to please you? Evaluating whether mindfulness buffers links between attachment and sexual motivations in daily life

Insecurely attached individuals are more likely to report more maladaptive sexual motivations that predict worse personal and interpersonal outcomes. Given that mindfulness has been linked with improved relationship and sexual experiences, and that these effects may be moderated by attachment, the current study examined the possible buffering role of trait mindfulness on the links between attachment insecurity and daily sexual motives. Participants from New Zealand (N = 70) took part in a daily diary study that overcame limitations associated with previous cross-sectional research in the area (e.g., recall and aggregation biases). Online measures of trait mindfulness and attachment were completed, before participants reported their sexual motivations on each day they had sex for the next 14 days. Results provided some evidence that trait mindfulness has a therapeutic effect among more anxiously attached persons insofar as it reduced the degree to which attachment concerns manifested in maladaptive daily sexual motivations. In contrast, trait mindfulness did not buffer (and in some cases intensified) the links between attachment avoidance and maladaptive sexual motives. No significant interactions were detected between attachment insecurity and mindfulness in the prediction of adaptive daily sexual motivations. These findings suggest that mindfulness may differentially affect the manifestations of anxious and avoidant attachment. Practical and theoretical implications of the findings are discussed.

Avoidantly Attached Individuals Are More Exchange-Oriented and Less Communal in the Bedroom

Sexual need fulfillment in a relationship is associated with both partners' sexual and relationship quality. In the current research, we explored what underlies two approaches to sexual need fulfillment-sexual communal norms (i.e., being motivated to meet a partner's sexual needs) and sexual exchange norms (i.e., tracking and trading sexual benefits). People high in attachment avoidance are less responsive to their partner's needs and distance themselves from intimacy. Sexuality is a domain in which partners aim to meet each other's needs, but it may also heighten avoidantly attached partners' concerns about intimacy. Across three studies (N = 711)-using cross-sectional, dyadic, daily experience, and longitudinal methods-endorsing sexual communal norms was associated with greater sexual and relationship quality, whereas endorsing sexual exchange norms was not associated with, or was linked to lower, sexual and relationship quality. People who were higher (compared to lower) in attachment avoidance were less sexually communal and more exchange-oriented, and their heightened endorsement of sexual exchange norms predicted lower relationship satisfaction over time. With two exceptions, the effects were largely consistent for men versus women. Findings from this research suggest that attachment avoidance underlies approaches to sexual need fulfillment in relationships.

Sexual communal motivation in couples coping with low sexual interest/arousal: Associations with sexual well-being and sexual goals

Women coping with female sexual interest/arousal disorder (FSIAD) report lower sexual and relationship satisfaction compared to healthy controls. In community samples, high sexual communal strength (i.e., the motivation to meet a partner's sexual needs) is associated with higher sexual desire and satisfaction, but high unmitigated sexual communion (i.e., the prioritization of a partner's needs to the exclusion of one's own needs) is associated with lower sexual satisfaction. People higher in sexual communal strength report engaging in sex for approach goals (i.e., to enhance intimacy in their relationship), but not for avoidance goals (i.e., to avert conflict or a partner's disappointment) and this is one reason why they report greater sexual desire. In the current sample of 97 women diagnosed with FSIAD and their partners we investigated the association between sexual communal strength and unmitigated sexual communion and sexual well-being (i.e., sexual desire, sexual satisfaction and sexual distress) and sexual goals (i.e., approach and avoidance goals). Women who reported higher sexual communal strength were more likely to pursue sex for approach goals and their partner reported greater sexual satisfaction. When partners reported higher sexual communal strength, they reported higher sexual desire, but when they reported higher unmitigated sexual communion, they reported higher sexual distress. Additional associations emerged for couples who engage in sex more (compared to less) frequently. Our findings demonstrate that being motivated to meet a partner's sexual needs is associated with greater sexual well-being for couples coping with FSIAD, but when this motivation involves neglecting one's own needs, people do not report greater sexual well-being and instead, partners report higher sexual distress.

Maintaining Sexual Desire in Long-Term Relationships: A Systematic Review and Conceptual Model

The most universally experienced sexual response is sexual desire. Though research on this topic has increased in recent years, low and high desire are still problematized in clinical settings and the broader culture. However, despite knowledge that sexual desire ebbs and flows both within and between individuals, and that problems with sexual desire are strongly linked to problems with relationships, there is a critical gap in understanding the factors that contribute to maintaining sexual desire in the context of relationships. This article offers a systematic review of the literature to provide researchers, educators, clinicians, and the broader public with an overview and a conceptual model of nonclinical sexual desire in long-term relationships. First, we systematically identified peer-reviewed, English-language articles that focused on the maintenance of sexual desire in the context of nonclinical romantic relationships. Second, we reviewed a total of 64 articles that met inclusion criteria and synthesized them into factors using a socioecological framework categorized as individual, interpersonal, and societal in nature. These findings are used to build a conceptual model of maintaining sexual desire in long-term relationships. Finally, we discuss the limitations of the existing research and suggest clear directions for future research.

Understanding When a Partner Is Not in the Mood: Sexual Communal Strength in Couples Transitioning to Parenthood

Situations in which one partner is interested in having sex but the other partner is not "in the mood" are common in relationships. We extend previous work on sexual communal strength-the motivation to be responsive to a partner's sexual needs-to demonstrate that in addition to the motivation to meet a partner's need to have sex, the motivation to be understanding about a partner's need not to engage in sex is uniquely associated with sexual and relationship satisfaction. In Study 1, we adapted a measure of sexual communal strength for having sex (SCSS) to create a new measure of sexual communal strength for not having sex (SCSN). We demonstrated that SCSN is distinct from SCSS and associated with more positive and less negative responses to an imagined situation of sexual rejection. In Study 2, both SCSS and SCSN were uniquely associated with greater sexual and relationship satisfaction in couples transitioning to parenthood-a time when many couples experience changes to their sexual relationship. Having a partner who is higher in SCSN is associated with greater sexual satisfaction and relationship quality for new mothers but not new fathers, suggesting that during the transition to parenthood, it might be more important for women to have a partner who is understanding about their need not to engage in sex. The results suggest that the motivation to be understanding about a partner's need not to engage in sex may be an additional way that partners can show communal care in their sexual relationships.

More Than Just Sex: Affection Mediates the Association Between Sexual Activity and Well-Being

Positive interpersonal interactions such as affection are central to well-being. Sex is associated with greater individual well-being, but little is known about why this occurs. We predicted that experienced affection would account for the association between sex and well-being. Cross-sectional results indicated that affection mediated the association between sex and both life satisfaction (Study 1) and positive emotions (however, among men only in Study 2). In Study 3, an experience sampling study with 106 dual-earner couples with children, affection mediated the association between sex and increased positive affect in daily life. Cross-lagged analyses in Study 3 to 4 supported the predicted direction of the associations. Moreover, the strength of the daily association between sex and positive affect predicted both partners' relationship satisfaction 6 months later. Our findings underscore the importance of affection and positive affect for understanding how sex promotes well-being and has long-term relational benefits.