Navigating Conflicting Ideals of Masculinity: A Qualitative Study of the Experiences of Male Partners of Women with Vulvodynia

Vulvodynia, a long-term genital pain disorder with a high lifetime prevalence, profoundly impacts both the affected women and their partners. However, the experiences of these partners have been under-researched. Using Braun and Clarke's thematic analysis, this qualitative study explored the experiences of male partners of women with vulvodynia. In individual interviews with seven men (20-32 years), four themes were identified: "Trying to be a good and caring partner," "Fear of sexual and emotional rejection," "Feelings of insecurity and being misled," and "Keeping up the façade." Despite efforts to support their partners, the men often faced rejection, leading to insecurities about their attractiveness, the relationship's future, and their ability to conform to social expectations. They coped by concealing insecurities from their partners and overemphasizing traditional masculinity among peers. We discuss these results using sexual script theory, suggesting that gendered sexual scripts play a significant role in relationships with vulvodynia, with prevailing cultural assumptions regarding masculinity challenging men's ability to be simultaneously caring and sexual. As a result, the men found themselves negotiating two contrasting ideals associated with masculine behavior: those of good caregiver and assertive, virile sexual partner. Our research suggests that male partners of women with vulvodynia tend to be left alone to deal with the resulting ambivalence and distress. Supporting these men could benefit both parties in managing vulvodynia.

How Do College Students Perceive Their Partner Responds to Them When They Refuse Sexual Activity?

Refusal communication is a dyadic process, with one person communicating a refusal and another person responding. To enhance our understanding of this process, we surveyed college students to assess their interpretation of their partners' responses when they declined vaginal-penile sexual activity. In an online survey, participants were prompted to describe their partners' reactions when participants refused their partner's vaginal-penile sex initiation. Through content analysis, three themes were present: (1) partner accepted the refusal, (2) partner experienced negative emotions, (3) partner ignored their refusals. Participants frequently reported their refusals were accepted. Sexual assault prevention initiatives should work to normalize refusal communication.

Pursuing Safety in Social Connection: A Flexibly Fluid Perspective on Risk Regulation in Relationships

People are fundamentally motivated to be included in social connections that feel safe, connections where they are consistently cared for and protected, not hurt or exploited. Romantic relationships have long played a crucial role in satisfying this fundamental need. This article reconceptualizes the risk-regulation model to argue that people draw on experiences from inside and outside their romantic relationships to satisfy their fundamental need to feel safe depending on others. We first review the direct relational cues (i.e., a partner's affectionate touch, responsive versus unresponsive behavior, and relative power) and indirect cues (i.e., bodily sensations, collective value in the eyes of others, and living conditions) that signal the current safety of social connection and motivate people to connect to others or protect themselves against them. We then review how people's chronic capacity to trust in others controls their sensitivity and reactivity to the safety cues. The article concludes with future research directions.

Unmet and Exceeded Expectations for Sexual Concerns across the Transition to Parenthood

Expectations play a key role in shaping sexual and relationship well-being. Across the transition to parenthood, couples navigate many changes to their sexual relationships, yet little is known about their expectations related to sex. This longitudinal study investigated how unmet and exceeded expectations for postpartum sexual concerns - assessed in pregnancy and compared to experiences at 3-months postpartum - affect sexual and relationship well-being. Data were collected from 200 new-parent couples mid-pregnancy and at 3, 6, 9, and 12-months postpartum. Mothers' unmet expectations (i.e., sexual experiences were worse than expected) were associated with their own lower sexual and relationship satisfaction at 3-months postpartum. Partners' unmet expectations were associated with their own lower sexual satisfaction, higher sexual distress and relationship conflict, and mothers' lower sexual satisfaction. Mothers' exceeded expectations (i.e., sexual experiences were not as bad as they expected) were linked to their own and their partners' higher sexual satisfaction and lower sexual distress and relationship conflict at 3-months postpartum. Partners' exceeded expectations were only associated with mothers' lower sexual distress at 3-months postpartum. Expectations did not predict change in outcomes over time. Findings provide novel evidence that expectations for one's sexual relationship are associated with new parents' sexual and relationship adjustment during a vulnerable period for sexuality and well-being.

The enticement of feeling understood, validated, and cared for: How does perceiving a partner as responsive affect the sexual arena?

Partners' behaviors outside the bedroom may spill over into the bedroom. One such behavior is responsiveness, as it creates a relationship ambiance conducive to the development of intimacy. In this article, I review research demonstrating how perceiving partners as responsive outside the bedroom affects the quality of sexual interactions, highlighting changes in the contextual meaning of partner responsiveness across individuals and relationship stages. I then provide an overview of the costs and benefits of responsiveness within the bedroom. I conclude by suggesting directions for future research on the potential of partner responsiveness for fostering a relationship environment that inoculates against alternative partners as well as for designing social robots and virtual mates for those in need of a surrogate partner.

The benefits (and costs) of sexual responsiveness in romantic relationships

Sex is one unique way people can show responsiveness in romantic relationships. Being and having a sexually responsive partner-who is understanding and motivated to make sexual compromises-is associated with sexual desire maintenance, sexual satisfaction, and relationship quality, especially when partners have different sexual interests or are coping with sexual issues. But, if being responsive to a partner's sexual needs involves self-neglect, sexual responsiveness no longer has these benefits and can be costly. Future research on sexual responsiveness should involve the development of a comprehensive measure incorporating lay perceptions and considering gendered sexual expectations, and an investigation of the balance between sexual autonomy and responsiveness in relationships.

Regulating relationship risk: Partner responsiveness as a safety signal

People are fundamentally motivated to be included in safe relationships - relationships where they are consistently cared for and protected. Building on the risk-regulation model, this article describes five cues (i.e., affectionate touch, gratitude, acceptance, investments, power) that romantic partners can use to gauge their value to one another, and thus, how safe they are trusting one another to be responsive in specific situations. It also describes how feeling more versus less safe in response to these cues contingently motivates partners to increase connection versus protect themselves against being hurt. The article concludes by describing how people who are chronically less trusting misread these cues, a pessimistic bias that results in them protecting themselves against being hurt unnecessarily, compromising connection.

Perceptual Accuracy for Sexual Rejection in Romantic Relationships

In the current research, we investigated perceptual accuracy in romantic partners' detection of sexual rejection. In two daily diary studies of predominantly cisgender heterosexual couples, we examined patterns of accuracy and bias concerning both the degree of sexual disinterest (Study 1; N = 98 couples) and occurrence of sexual rejection (Study 2; N = 115 couples), as well as how these perceptions were associated with satisfaction. Using a multi-method approach to capture both continuous and categorical operationalizations of sexual rejection (Study 1: truth and bias; Study 2: quasi-signal detection), we found that people were both accurate and biased in their perceptions of partner rejection. Across studies, results showed that people demonstrated general tracking accuracy in detecting a partner's sexual rejection, but they also overestimated the degree and occurrence of this rejection. Additionally, this overestimation bias was associated with lower daily relationship and sexual satisfaction. Overall, our findings highlight the importance of dyadic perceptions of sexual rejection in shaping daily relationship and sexual functioning.

Assessing Young Adults' Internal Feelings Related to Refusing Sexual Behavior

Young people describe refusing sexual activity as difficult or embarrassing; however, what specific internal feelings young adults associate with refusing sexual activity is unclear. We assessed the positive and negative internal feelings related to refusing different sexual behaviors using sentiment analysis. We also examined if positive and negative internal refusal feelings varied by gender and the intersection of gender and racial/ethnic identity. Young adults (n = 574, 481 women, 93 men, M = 19.2, SD = 1.43) from Canada and the U.S. completed an open-ended survey about how they felt about their experiences refusing sexual activity. Using sentiment analysis, responses were coded as either positive or negative and overwhelmingly, feelings associated with refusing sexual activity were identified as negative. Women and women of color reported more negative feelings than men and White women. However, there were some distinct positive feelings noted from young adults (e.g., feeling respected, comfortable). Young adults appear to internalize negative feelings about their refusals which may relate to social and cultural norms. Moving forward, sexual health programs could focus on normalizing and destigmatizing refusals so that young adults do not feel negatively about refusing sexual activity, with a particular emphasis on helping women and women of color to feel confident and empowered in their refusals.