Interpersonal Chemistry: What Is It, How Does It Emerge, and How Does It Operate?

Feeling understood and appreciated in relationships: Where do these perceptions come from and why do they matter?

Perceptions of romantic partners (even inaccurate perceptions) are important determinants of initial liking and long-term relationship satisfaction. In the current article, we consider the role of perceptions in romantic relationships through the lens of felt understanding and appreciation. We first examine where perceptions of feeling understood and appreciated come from, considering partner, self, and dyadic influences. We then examine how feeling understood and appreciated shape relationship quality, focusing on these perceptions as buffers of negative relationship experiences and mechanisms through which couples can create positive upward cycles of responsiveness and appreciation. Finally, we theorize about the unique dyadic experience of feeling understood and appreciated, positing that moments of mutual understanding and appreciation play a critical role in increasing social connection.

Listening and responsiveness in getting-acquainted processes

Listening and being responsive to another's turns at disclosure are essential processes that occur at all stages of a relationship, including and perhaps particularly at the formation stage. This article discusses research on the role of responsiveness and listening in contributing to positive outcomes from getting-acquainted interactions. Integral to listening and responsiveness in the getting-acquainted process is asking questions, which is also discussed in this article. Because getting-acquainted interactions can occur in different communication modalities and also with artificial intelligence (AI), variation in the degree to which listening and responsiveness occur as a function of the context will be considered. Although listening skills and responsiveness are desired in a romantic partner, these skills are difficult to assess in online profiles and dating apps, which have become common ways for meeting partners.

Initial compatibility during a "Speed-Dating" test predicts postpairing affiliation in titi monkeys (Plecturocebus cupreus)

Behavioral compatibility plays a critical role in shaping how potential mates interact with and evaluate each other and whether they choose to pursue a relationship. Compatibility is especially important for mate choice and relationship quality in pair-bonding species that form long-term attachments between mates. Although this process has been studied in humans and birds, relatively few studies have investigated it in non-human primates. In this study, we investigated whether pairing titi monkeys (Plecturocebus cupreus) based on initial compatibility increased postpairing affiliation between mates. Subjects were 12 unpaired adult titi monkeys (two cohorts of three males and three females). We determined each subject's initial interest in each opposite-sex potential mate in their cohort across a series of six 30-min interaction periods (i.e., "speed-dates"). To determine initial compatibility, we used the Social Relations Model to calculate relationship effects in initial interest (how much each subject uniquely preferred each potential mate beyond their own affiliative disposition and their partner's popularity). We then paired monkeys in a way that maximized net relationship effects between pairs, and measured longitudinal pair affiliation (Proximity, Contact, Tail Twining, and Combined Affiliation) for 6 months postpairing using daily scan-sample observations and monthly home-cage video recordings. Multilevel models showed that, on average, the six speed-dating pairs exhibited higher levels of Tail Twining (determined from scan-sample observations; β = 0.31) compared to a group of 13 age-matched colony pairs that were determined quasi-randomly without quantifying compatibility. The degree of initial compatibility within speed-dating pairs also predicted higher levels of Combined Affiliation (determined from video recordings) at earlier post-pairing time points, with the association peaking at 2 months postpairing (β = 0.57). These findings suggest that initial compatibility facilitates pair bonding in titi monkeys. We conclude by discussing how the speed-dating design can be used for colony management to inform pair-housing decisions.

Experimental effects of social behavior on well-being

Subjective well-being is characterized by relatively frequent positive emotions, relatively infrequent negative emotions, and high life satisfaction. Although myriad research topics related to subjective well-being have been explored - from how it should be measured to how it affects physical health - a key finding is that social connections are crucial. Researchers are therefore increasingly exploring whether subjective well-being can be improved through interventions that encourage specific types of social behaviors, including prosociality, gratitude, extraversion, and brief social interactions. We review this recent work, highlighting potential behavioral and psychological mechanisms underlying the effectiveness of such interventions, along with their boundary conditions.

Toward a New Science of Psychedelic Social Psychology: The Effects of MDMA (Ecstasy) on Social Connection

Psychedelic science has generated hundreds of compelling published studies yet with relatively little impact on mainstream psychology. I propose that social psychologists have much to gain by incorporating psychoactive substances into their research programs. Here I use (±)-3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA) as an example because of its documented ability in experiments and clinical trials to promote bonding, love, and warmth. Social connection is a fundamental human need, yet researchers still possess few tools to effectively and durably boost it. MDMA allows investigators to isolate the psychological mechanisms-as well as brain pathways-underlying felt social connection and thus reveal what should be targeted in future (nondrug) studies. Accordingly, I introduce a conceptual model that presents the proximal psychological mechanisms stimulated by MDMA (lowered fear, increased sociability, more chemistry), as well as its potential long-term impacts (improved relationships, reduced loneliness, stronger therapeutic alliances). Finally, I discuss further questions (e.g., whether using MDMA for enhancing connection can backfire) and promising research areas for building a new science of psychedelic social psychology. In sum, psychopharmacological methods can be a useful approach to illuminate commonly studied social-psychological processes, such as connectedness, prejudice, or self, as well as inform interventions to directly improve people's lives.

The Power of Listening at Work

Listening is associated with and a likely cause of desired organizational outcomes in numerous areas, including job performance, leadership, quality of relationships (e.g., trust), job knowledge, job attitudes, and well-being. To advance understanding of the powerful effects of listening on organizational outcomes, we review the construct of listening, its measurement and experimental manipulations, and its outcomes, antecedents, and moderators. We suggest that listening is a dyadic phenomenon that benefits both the listener and the speaker, including supervisor-subordinate and salesperson-customer dyads. To explain previous findings and generate novel and testable hypotheses, we propose the episodic listening theory: listening can lead to a fleeting state of togetherness, in which dyad members undergo a mutual creative thought process. This process yields clarity, facilitates the generation of novel plans, increases well-being, and strengthens attachment to the conversation partner.

Toward a pedagogy of connection: A critical view of being relational in listening

Positive Organizational Scholarship (POS) perspectives define interpersonal work experiences such as positive work relationships and high-quality connections by the mutual growth and empowerment experienced by relationship or connection partners. Listening has been implicated as a key mechanism for building such positive interpersonal work experiences, but it is unclear how listening spurs on mutual, rather than one-sided growth, in relationship and connection partners. In this paper, we argue that management education currently focuses on the intrapersonal capability of listeners to execute key verbal and non-verbal behaviors. Less emphasis is placed on the mutual experience co-created between speaker and listener and, thus, on the potential for mutual growth and empowerment. We articulate what “being relational” in the listening experience means, and use experiential learning theory to articulate how educators might create learning spaces for “being relational” through conversations between listener and speaker. Throughout the paper we contend with issues of individual and structural power asymmetries inherent in understanding listening as a relational process.