Heterosexual Rejection and Mate Choice: A Sociometer Perspective

Individual Differences in How Desirable People Think They Are as a Mate

Mate value is an important concept in mate choice research although its operationalization and understanding are limited. Here, we reviewed and evaluated previously established conceptual and methodological approaches measuring mate value and presented original research using individual differences in how people view themselves as a face-valid proxy for mate value in long- and short-term contexts. In data from 41 nations (N = 3895, Mage = 24.71, 63% women, 47% single), we tested sex, age, and relationship status effects on self-perceived mate desirability, along with individual differences in the Dark Triad traits, life history strategies, peer-based comparison of desirability, and self-reported mating success. Both sexes indicated more short-term than long-term mate desirability; however, men reported more long-term mate desirability than women, whereas women reported more short-term mate desirability than men. Further, individuals who were in a committed relationship felt more desirable than those who were not. Concerning the cross-sectional stability of mate desirability across the lifespan, in men, short- and long-term desirability rose to the age of 40 and 50, respectively, and decreased afterward. In women, short-term desirability rose to the age of 38 and decreased afterward, whereas long-term desirability remained stable over time. Our results suggest that measuring long- and short-term self-perceived mate desirability reveals predictable correlates.

The Association Between Romantic Rejection and Change in Ideal Standards, Ideal Flexibility, and Self-Perceived Mate Value

Abstract. Research has shown that ideal romantic standards predict future partner characteristics and influence existing relationships, but how standards develop and change among single individuals has yet to be explored. Guided by the Ideal Standards Model (ISM), the present study sought to determine whether repeated experiences of romantic rejection and acceptance over time were associated with change in ideal standards, ideal flexibility, and self-perceived mate value ( N = 208). Results suggest repeated experiences of rejection correspond to decreases in ideal standards and self-perceived mate value and increases in ideal flexibility, though no effects emerged for acceptance. Given the predictive nature of ideal standards and the link rejection has with such, findings from this study contribute to a greater understanding of relationship formation processes.

Self-Perceived Mate Value Is Poorly Predicted by Demographic Variables

Mate value is a construct that can be measured in various ways, ranging from complex but difficult-to-obtain ratings all the way to single-item self-report measures. Due to low sample sizes in previous studies, little is known about the relationship between mate value and demographic variables. In this article, we tested the Mate Value Scale, a relatively new, short, 4-item self-report measure in two large samples. In the first sample of over 1,000, mostly college-age participants, the scale was found to be reliable and correlated with criterion variables in expected ways. In the second, larger sample, which included over 21,000 participants, we have tested for differences across demographics. Contrary to theoretical expectations and previous findings with smaller samples, the differences were either very small (sexual orientation, age, education) or small (sex, socioeconomic status, relationship status) in terms of their effect size. This suggests that the scale is not measuring "objective" mate value (as understood either in terms of fitness or actual mating decisions by potential partners on the "market"), but a self-perception of it, open to social comparison, relative standards, possibly even biases, raising questions about measuring self-perceived versus objective mate value.