Thinking Through Secrets: Rethinking the Role of Thought Suppression in Secrecy

Self-concealment, secrecy, and guilt

OBJECTIVE

Individuals with a tendency to conceal unflattering information about themselves are more likely to be preoccupied by their secrets and tend to report more negative affect. According to theory, this negative affect is due to self-concealers' conflicting motivation to be authentic in their relationship but fear the negative consequences should they reveal their secrets, which promotes ill-fated attempts to suppress. The purpose of the current study was to test a central component of this model.

METHODS

Two studies of adults who were in a romantic relationship and keeping a secret from their partner (combined N = 635; 67.2% women; Mage  = 39.6, SD = 11.9) were surveyed on four biweekly occasions. Multilevel mediation analyses were conducted to test whether preoccupation and suppression mediated the link between self-concealing and negative affect and guilt.

RESULTS

The data support the hypotheses. Self-concealers were more preoccupied with and prone to suppress their secret than those low on the trait, which, in turn, predicted greater negative affect and guilt.

CONCLUSION

The findings suggest that self-concealers' insecurities and fear of the relational consequences of disclosure set the stage for the debilitating cycle of suppression and preoccupation that leaves them feeling anxious and guilty.

Secrecy in Everyday Life

Secrecy is common, yet we know little about how it plays out in daily life. Most existing research on secrecy is based on methods involving retrospection over long periods of time, failing to capture secrecy "in the wild." Filling this gap, we conducted two studies using intensive longitudinal designs to present the first picture of secrecy in everyday life. We investigated momentary contextual factors and individual differences as predictors of mind-wandering to and concealing secrets. Contextual factors more consistently predicted secrecy experiences than person-level factors. Feeling more negative about a secret predicted a greater likelihood of mind-wandering to the secret. Interacting with the secret target was linked with a greater likelihood of secret concealment. Individual differences were not consistently associated with mind-wandering to secrets. We conclude that daily experiences with secrets may be better predicted by momentary feelings rather than individual differences such as personality traits.

A Developmental Model of the Sexual Minority Closet: Structural Sensitization, Psychological Adaptations, and Post-closet Growth

Across the lifespan, most sexual minority individuals experience the closet-a typically prolonged period in which no significant others know their sexual identity. This paper positions the closet as distinct from stigma concealment given its typical duration in years and absolute removal from sources of support for an often-central identity typically during a developmentally sensitive period. The Developmental Model of the Closet proposed here delineates the vicarious learning that takes place before sexual orientation awareness to shape one's eventual experience of the closet; the stressors that take place after one has become aware of their sexual orientation but has not yet disclosed it, which often takes place during adolescence; and potential lifespan-persistent mental health effects of the closet, as moderated by the structural, interpersonal, cultural, and temporal context of disclosure. The paper outlines the ways in which the model both draws upon and is distinct from earlier models of sexual minority identity formation and proposes several testable hypotheses and future research directions, including tests of multilevel interventions.

Emotion Appraisals and Coping with Secrets

Secrecy is both common and consequential. Recent work suggests that personal experiences with secrets (i.e., mind-wandering to them outside of concealment contexts), rather than concealment (within conversations), can explain the harms of secrecy. Recent work has also demonstrated that secrecy is associated with emotions that center on self-evaluation-shame and guilt. These emotions may help explain the harms of secrecy and provide a point of intervention to improve coping with secrecy. Four studies with 800 participants keeping over 10,500 secrets found that shame surrounding a secret is associated with lower perceived coping efficacy and reduced well-being. Moreover, shifting appraisals away from shame improved perceptions of efficacy in coping with secrets, which was linked with higher well-being. These studies suggest that emotions surrounding secrets can harm well-being and highlight avenues for intervention.