"It's an ongoing discussion about desire": Adults' strategies for managing sexual and affectionate desire discrepancies in romantic relationships

Desire discrepancies are a common source of relationship conflict and one reason adults may seek couples counseling. Within romantic relationships, adults individually experience sexual and affectionate desire, but also experience desire relative to their partner. If desire discrepancies exist, partners may attempt to resolve these discrepancies. Thus, we examined adults' strategies for managing sexual and affectionate desire discrepancies. Our sample consisted of 300 adults (45% women; Mage = 29.5; 86.3% LGBTQ+) who were in a romantic relationship and reported a desire discrepancy. Thematic analysis revealed five strategies for managing desire discrepancies: alternative behaviors, communication, doing nothing, engaging in behaviors anyway, and giving control to a specific partner. Adults reported similar strategies for resolving sexual and affectionate desire discrepancies. Perceived effectiveness and strategies varied by whether adults thought that their discrepancies were problematic. Our findings hold implications for clinicians approaching problematic desire discrepancies, and suggest strategies that may promote effective resolutions.

Initial Motivations for Engaging in Polyamorous Relationships

Polyamory is a relationship style in which partners consensually agree to engage in sexual and/or emotional relationships with concurrent partners. Compared with other forms of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), polyamory practitioners tend to report greater relationship satisfaction and less jealousy. However, the unique motivations leading people to engage with polyamory are less understood. Previous research has examined motivations for engaging in CNM relationship styles, in general, but no research has focused exclusively on the motivations of polyamory practitioners. The present study draws on the open-ended responses of 63 U.S. American adults who reported previous or current engagement in at least one consensually polyamorous relationship. Thematic analyses revealed four themes guiding participants' initial motivations for polyamory engagement: values alignment, relationship factors, external triggers, and sexuality. The study's themes are discussed in the context of self-determination theory and situated in the existing body of CNM and polyamory research. Directions for future research provide next steps for examining outcomes associated with specific polyamory motivations.

The Role of Dyadic Sexual Desire Similarity in Predicting Sexual Behaviors in Cohabitating Couples: An Ecological Momentary Assessment Study

Although researchers are increasingly paying attention to the dyadic nature of sexual desire and its relevance to sexual and relational outcomes, our understanding of how sexual desire operates on a couple level and how it may influence the occurrence of sexual activity in relationships remains limited. This study used ecological momentary assessments to explore to what extent similarity in levels of desire for sex with one's sexual partner, or dyadic sexual desire, was associated with sexual initiations, receptivity to one's partner's initiations, and partnered sexual activity, and how these associations were moderated by perceived partner support. Ninety-four cohabitating couples (M age = 26.30, SD = 7.60) provided six reports a day for 10 consecutive days. We used response surface analysis to examine the associations among both the degree and direction of (dis)similarity in partners' dyadic desire and each of the three outcome variables. Our results revealed that although partners tended to experience similar levels of desire on a moment-to-moment basis, similarity in desire levels was not associated with the three outcome variables. Rather, higher desire within couples predicted each partner's behavioral outcomes. At lower levels of perceived partner support, dyadic sexual desire was negatively associated with women's receptivity to sexual initiations by their partners, indicating high context-sensitivity of women's sexual responding. These findings offer new insights into the links between the similarity in partners' levels of dyadic desire and sexual behaviors in couples, suggesting the need for increased focus on maintaining desire and promoting perceived partner support in clinical practice.

The Sexual Incentive Motivation Model and Its Clinical Applications

Sexual motivation (desire) requires the simultaneous presence of an active central motive state and a stimulus with sexual significance. Once activated, sexual motivation leads to visceral responses and approach behaviors directed toward the emitter of the sexual stimulus. In humans, such behaviors follow cognitive evaluation of the context, including predictions of the approached individual's response. After successful approach and establishment of physical contact, manifest sexual activities may be initiated. Sexual interaction is associated with and followed by a state of positive affect in most animals, whereas aversive consequences may be experienced by humans. The affective reactions may become associated with stimuli present during sexual interaction, and these stimuli may thereby alter their incentive properties. Here we show how the incentive motivation model can be used to explain the origins and possible treatments of sexual dysfunctions, notably disorders of desire. We propose that associations formed between negative outcomes of sexual interaction and the salient stimuli, for example, the partner, underlies hypoactive desire disorder. Highly positive outcomes of sexual interaction enhance the incentive value of the stimuli present, and eventually lead to hyperactive sexual desire. Treatments aim to alter the impact of sexual incentives, mainly by modifying cognitive processes.

Sexual Satisfaction Mediates the Effects of the Quality of Dyadic Sexual Communication on the Degree of Perceived Sexual Desire Discrepancy

Difficulties related to sexual desire discrepancy are among the most common complaints in people seeking help in therapy. The aims of the current study were to test a mediation model using a bootstrapping procedure where the quality of the dyadic sexual communication plays a key role in increasing or diminishing the degree of perceived sexual desire discrepancy through sexual satisfaction. An online survey was administered through social media to N = 369 participants involved in a romantic relationship, measuring the quality of dyadic sexual communication, sexual satisfaction, the degree of the perceived sexual desire discrepancy, and a series of relevant covariates. As expected, the mediation model showed that a better quality of dyadic sexual communication is related to a lower degree of perceived sexual desire discrepancy through increased sexual satisfaction (β = -0.17, SE = 0.05, [95% CI = -0.27, -0.07]). The effect held over and above the effect of the relevant covariates. The theoretical and practical implications of the present study are discussed.

Age Effects on Women's and Men's Dyadic and Solitary Sexual Desire

While most studies on sexuality in later life report that sexual desire declines with age, little is known about the exact nature of age effects on sexual desire. Using self-reported dyadic sexual desire relating to a partner, dyadic sexual desire relating to an attractive person, and solitary sexual desire from a large (N > 8000) and age diverse (14.6-80.2 years) online sample, the current study had three goals: First, we investigated relationships between men and women's sexual desire and age. Second, we examined whether individual differences such as gender/sex, sexual orientation, self-rated masculinity, relationship status, self-rated attractiveness, and self-rated health predict sexual desire. Third, we examined how these associations differed across sexual desire facets. On average, the associations between age and both men and women's sexual desire followed nonlinear trends and differed between genders/sexes and types of sexual desire. Average levels of all types of sexual desire were generally higher in men. Dyadic sexual desire related positively to self-rated masculinity and having a romantic partner and solitary desire was higher in people with same-sex attraction. We discuss the results in the context of the evolutionary hypothesis that predict an increase of sexual desire and female reproductive effort prior to declining fertility. Our findings both support and challenge beliefs about gender/sex specificity of age effects on sexual desire and highlight the importance of differentiating between desire types.

Reduced Sexual Desire in Young Norwegian Women: A Mixed-Methods Study

Sexuality has become an area of social competence in which individuals strive to be recognized as sexually competent performers. However, a large proportion of young women experience reduced sexual desire. In this study, both quantitative and qualitative methods were applied. Using data from a questionnaire, the aim of this study was to explore the prevalence of, and the factors associated with, lack of sexual interest and desire among young women in Norway. Further, with the help of in-depth interviews, we investigated how young women with reduced sexual desire experience living with their desire problems and what they experience as the cause of their problems. The sample in the quantitative study consisted of 505 Norwegian women between the ages of 18 and 29 years. ANOVA was employed to explore differences in scores on psychological factors and relational factors, as well as between participants who experienced a lack of sexual interest and desire, and those who did not. The results indicate a high prevalence of lack of sexual interest and desire among women (37.1%), while low appearance satisfaction and low relationship satisfaction were central predictors of lack of sexual interest and desire. The sample in the qualitative study consisted of ten Norwegian women with reduced sexual desire between the ages of 18 and 29 years. Through thematic analysis, four themes emerged as experiences of living with reduced sexual desire: (1) physical and mental health, (2) being a young woman in today's society, (3) relational factors, (4) negative experiences, personal expectations toward sexuality, and sexual trauma.

Is Expectant Couples' Similarity in Attitudes to Sex during Pregnancy Linked to Their Sexual Well-being? A Dyadic Study with Response Surface Analysis

Despite sexual activity being safe for the majority of expectant couples (i.e., the pregnant individual and their partner), negative attitudes toward having sex during pregnancy are common and are related to lower sexual well-being across this vulnerable life period. Using dyadic response surface analysis in a sample of 254 first-time expectant couples, we examined the degree to which expectant partners demonstrated similar versus dissimilar attitudes to sex during pregnancy and whether specific patterns of couples' similarity in attitudes may uniquely contribute to their sexual satisfaction and sexual distress. Couples' more positive attitudes (i.e., the more both partners perceived sexual activity as non-threatening to their pregnancy), rather than partners' similarity in attitudes, were associated with lower sexual distress for both partners and higher sexual satisfaction for male partners. In couples where partners held more dissimilar attitudes, men demonstrated greater distress when their female partner's attitudes were more positive than their own. To promote sexual well-being during pregnancy, interventions should assist couples to attain stronger positive attitudes to sex during pregnancy by targeting concerns about sex in both expectant partners.

Discrepancy in Dyadic Sexual Desire Predicts Sexual Distress over Time in a Community Sample of Committed Couples: A Daily Diary and Longitudinal Study

In long-term relationships, sexual desire discrepancy (SDD) occurs frequently between partners. For many, this discrepancy is persistent and significant, and a source of distress. However, the dynamics of SDD in couples and, specifically, its implications for sexual distress have received scant empirical attention. This study examined the associations between SDD and sexual distress from one day to the next and over a 12-month span, in a community sample of 229 same-sex/gender and mixed-sex/gender couples. Two datasets were collected: A 35-day daily diary and a 12-month longitudinal survey. In both, dyadic sexual desire and sexual distress were measured, and SDD was calculated as the absolute value of the difference in sexual desire between partners. Directional associations between SDD at one time point and sexual distress at the next time point were assessed using multilevel, 2-pane autoregressive cross-lagged models, controlling for within-variable changes, dependencies between partners, and partner age. Results were consistent with the study's hypotheses: Couples' SDD on one day predicted sexual distress on the next day. Similarly, SDD at baseline predicted sexual distress 12 months later. Participant gender, partner gender, and couple type did not significantly moderate these associations, nor did differentiating partners based on higher and lower average sexual desire. The reverse associations (i.e., sexual distress predicting SDD) were non-significant. The associations' directionality and the fact that they remained significant over days and months were consistent with the proposal that SDD is a precursor of sexual distress. The present study provides support for dyadic conceptualizations of sexual desire. Clinically, findings suggest that therapeutic approaches should address issues with sexual desire and sexual distress by focusing not on the individual, but on the couple.

Attachment Orientation Moderates the Sexual and Relational Implications of Sexual Desire Discrepancies

We examined the degree and direction of sexual desire discrepancies (SDD) between partners and how this relates to sexual function, sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction in 100 Saudi Arabian couples, taking into account both partners' attachment orientation. Men and women reported better outcomes when they matched on higher levels of sexual desire. In case of a mismatch, women reported higher sexual satisfaction when their partner's level of sexual desire was higher than their own. Attachment anxiety and avoidance moderated the associations between SDD and the outcome variables. This study offers unique information on SDD in couples with strong gender role expectations and cultural restrictions regarding sexuality. Therapeutic interventions should be directed at understanding the attachment meaning of sexual desire.

Sexual Satisfaction in Older Heterosexual Couples From Four European Countries: Exploring the Roles of Actual and Perceived Discrepancy in Sexual Interest

Even though sexual activity frequently takes place with another person, research rarely focuses on how partners influence each other's sexual lives. This study used the sexual dyad to compare the concept of actual versus perceived discrepancy in sexual interest and explored how each is related to older partnered individuals' sexual satisfaction. Further, the study assessed the robustness of the association between sexual interest discrepancy and sexual satisfaction, if any, by controlling for emotional intimacy. The actor-partner interdependence model (APIM) using structural equation modeling (SEM) was applied to examine 677 heterosexual couples ages 60 to 75 in Norway, Denmark, Belgium, and Portugal. Although a couple's actual discrepancy in sexual interest was not predictive of female and male partners' sexual satisfaction, perceived discrepancy was negatively associated with sexual satisfaction in both partners after controlling for emotional intimacy. This indicates that the subjective feelings of being sexually dissimilar seem to be more important to sexual satisfaction than the actual mismatch among partners in older heterosexual couples. Moreover, the finding that emotional intimacy is linked with sexual satisfaction underscores the importance of a broader perspective on sexuality among older adults.

A Typology of Women with Low Sexual Desire

Low sexual desire is the most common sexual issue reported by women and research suggests that the presentation and experience of low sexual desire may vary considerably between women. This study explored whether women with low desire differ qualitatively from one another based on several key contextual factors theoretically associated with low desire. We collected data from women in long-term relationships (N = 508) using an online platform. Using latent profile analysis, we explored whether women could be distinguished from one another based on several contextual variables (sexual and relationship satisfaction, life stress, sexual communication). Results supported a 3-profile solution, with two distinct profiles emerging for women with low sexual desire. The first profile consisted of women with low desire who were dissatisfied with the sexual and nonsexual aspects of their relationships (Globally Distressed Group: 8%). The second profile consisted of women with low desire who were sexually, but not relationally, dissatisfied (Sexually Dissatisfied Group: 24%). In addition, a third profile emerged that consisted of generally satisfied women with average desire (Average Desire Group: 67%). t-tests revealed that the two low desire groups shared similar mean levels of sexual desire, but that their overall presentations were conceptually distinct. This research supports a categorical conceptualization of low sexual desire in women and suggests that evaluating category membership for women with low desire can provide valuable information about women's sexual experiences beyond assessing mean levels of sexual desire alone.

Are Couples More Satisfied When They Match in Sexual Desire? New Insights From Response Surface Analyses

While sexual frequency and satisfaction are strong contributors to the quality and longevity of romantic relationships and overall well-being, mismatches in sexual desire between partners are common and have been linked with poorer satisfaction. Previous findings linking mismatches in desire with poorer relationship and sexual outcomes have typically been derived using difference scores, an approach that does not account for partners’ overall levels of desire. In a sample of 366 couples, we investigated whether partners who match in desire are more satisfied than desire-discrepant couples. Results of dyadic response surface analyses provided no support for a unique matching effect. Higher desire rather than matching in desire between partners predicted relationship and sexual satisfaction. These findings shed new light on whether the correspondence between partners’ levels of sexual desire is associated with satisfaction and suggest the need to focus on sustaining desire and successfully navigating differences rather than promoting matching in desire.

Sexual Desire Discrepancy: A Position Statement of the European Society for Sexual Medicine

Introduction

There is a lack of theoretical and empirical knowledge on how sexual desire functions and interacts in a relationship.

Aim

To present an overview of the current conceptualization and operationalization of sexual desire discrepancy (SDD), providing clinical recommendations on behalf of the European Society of Sexual Medicine.

Methods

A comprehensive Pubmed, Web of Science, Medline, and Cochrane search was performed. Consensus was guided by a critical reflection on selected literature on SDD and by interactive discussions between expert psychologists, both clinicians and researchers.

Main Outcome Measure

Several aspects have been investigated including the definition and operationalization of SDD and the conditions under which treatment is required.

Results

Because the literature on SDD is scarce and complicated, it is precocious to make solid statements on SDD. Hence, no recommendations as per the Oxford 2011 Levels of Evidence criteria were possible. However, specific statements on this topic, summarizing the ESSM position, were provided. This resulted in an opnion-based rather than evidence-based position statement. Following suggestions were made on how to treat couples who are distressed by SDD: (i) normalize and depathologize variation in sexual desire; (ii) educate about the natural course of sexual desire; (iii) emphasize the dyadic, age-related, and relative nature of SDD; (iv) challenge the myth of spontaneous sexual desire; (v) promote open sexual communication; (vi) assist in developing joint sexual scripts that are mutually satisfying in addition to search for personal sexual needs; (vii) deal with relationship issues and unmet relationship needs; and (viii) stimulate self-differentiation.

Conclusion

More research is needed on the conceptualization and underlying mechanisms of SDD to develop clinical guidelines to treat couples with SDD.

Marieke D, Joana G, Giovanni C, et al. Sexual Desire Discrepancy: A Position Statement of the European Society for Sexual Medicine. J Sex Med 2020;8:121–131.

Sex-Differentiated Changes in Sexual Desire Predict Marital Dissatisfaction

Sex is critical to marriage. Yet, there are several reasons to expect spouses to experience declines in the desire for sex over time, and the rates of any declines in sexual desire may differ for men and women. We used two multi-wave, longitudinal studies to test whether male and female members of newlywed couples experienced different rates of change in sexual desire, whether any such changes were accentuated by childbirth, and whether any such changes had implications for marital satisfaction. In both studies, spouses provided multiple reports of sexual desire, marital satisfaction, and childbirth. Results demonstrated that women's sexual desire declined more steeply over time than did men's sexual desire, which did not decline on average. Further, childbirth accentuated this sex difference by partially, though not completely, accounting for declines in women's sexual desire but not men's. Finally, declines in women's but not men's sexual desire predicted declines in both partners' marital satisfaction. These effects held controlling depressive symptoms and stress, including stress from parenthood. The current findings offer novel longitudinal evidence for sex-differentiated changes in sexual desire and therefore suggest an important source of marital discord.

Sexual well-being and perceived stress in couples transitioning to parenthood: A dyadic analysis

Background/Objective

The transition to parenthood encompasses several psychological and relational changes that might contribute to couples’ high levels of stress postpartum. Although common across the postpartum, couples’ sexual changes are frequently overlooked.

Method

We surveyed 255 mixed-sex new parent couples to examine the associations between sexual well-being—sexual satisfaction, desire, and postpartum sexual concerns—and perceived stress postpartum. Couples completed self-report questionnaires assessing perceived stress and sexual well-being.

Results

For both mothers and fathers, greater sexual satisfaction was associated with their partners’ lower perceived stress and, for fathers, this was also associated with their own lower perceived stress. For mothers, greater partner-focused sexual desire was associated with their own lower perceived stress whereas, for fathers, greater partner-focused sexual desire was associated with their partners’ higher perceived stress. In addition, greater solitary sexual desire and postpartum sexual concerns were associated with both parents’ own higher perceived stress.

Conclusions

This study highlights the association between sexual well-being and couples’ postpartum stress, suggesting that more positive sexual experiences are linked to lower perceptions of stress across this vulnerable period. Couples’ sexual well-being may be an important target for interventions aimed at helping postpartum couples cope with stress.

A Descriptive Analysis of Sexual Problems in Long-Term Heterosexual Relationships

BACKGROUND

Although much research has described individual sexual dysfunctions, few studies to date have examined the types of problems that couples consider most significant in their sexual relationships.

AIM

To clarify the types of relational sexual problems that are most common and most severe in the sexual lives of individuals in long-term romantic relationships.

METHODS

A community sample of 117 mixed-sex couples completed this in-lab study. Members of each couple separately completed a demographics questionnaire and a measure of their relational sexual problems, the Sexual Problems Questionnaire (SPQ). Descriptive analyses (eg, examination of means, frequency counts) were conducted to determine the most common and severe sexual problems reported by participants. t-Tests were performed to examine gender differences in mean severity ratings for each SPQ item. Qualitative data were examined by conducting a frequency count on the SPQ items that participants reported to be most important in their sexual relationships. Results of all frequency counts were divided by the total sample size and are reported as percentages.

MAIN OUTCOME MEASURES

Participants reported on the severity of their sexual problems using the 25-item SPQ.

RESULTS

Quantitative analyses revealed that the most common and problematic sexual problems endorsed by both sexes were frequency of sex, sexual initiation, and showing interest. A frequency count of participants' qualitative reports also revealed that frequency of sex (women = 36%; men = 39%), sexual initiation (women = 33%; men = 32%), and showing interest (women and men = 25%) were the most important sexual issues for most individuals.

CLINICAL IMPLICATION

The most pressing relational sexual problems for couples in long-term romantic relationships are consistent between sexes and pertain to the domain of sexual desire.

STRENGTH & LIMITATIONS

The current study used an expanded measure of sexual problems, which allowed participants to report on a broad range of issues in their sexual relationships. The direction of such relational sexual problems (eg, desiring more or less sexual frequency) was not explored.

CONCLUSION

The key problems in sexual relationships center on the theme of sexual desire, and men and women consider these issues to be problematic to a similar extent. Sutherland SE, Rehman US, Fallis EE. A Descriptive Analysis of Sexual Problems in Long-Term Heterosexual Relationships. J Sex Med 2019;16:701-710.

Male Sexual Desire: An Overview of Biological, Psychological, Sexual, Relational, and Cultural Factors Influencing Desire

INTRODUCTION

The literature showed the need for a better understanding of the male sexual response, which has historically been considered as simpler and more mechanistic compared with that in women.

AIM

To examine the literature on biopsychosocial factors associated with the level of sexual desire in men and discuss some interesting directions for future research.

METHODS

A systematic literature review was conducted.

MAIN OUTCOME MEASURES

169 articles published in Google Scholar, Web of Science, Scopus, EBSCO, and Cochrane Library about male sexual desire and related biopsychosocial factors.

RESULTS

We found a lack of multidimensional studies on male sexual desire. Most existing research has focused on hypoactive sexual desire disorder in coupled heterosexual men. Biological factors play important roles in the level of sexual desire, but they are insufficient to explain the male sexual response. Psychological, relational, and sexual factors (eg depression, anxiety, emotions, attraction, conflicts, communication, sexual functioning, distress, satisfaction) are involved in the development/maintenance of lack of sexual interest in men. Cultural influence is also relevant, with cognitive factors linked to gender roles and sexual scripts of masculinity identified as important predictors of low sexual desire.

CONCLUSION

Male sexual desire is characterized by an interplay among biological, psychological, sexual, relational, and cultural elements. This interplay merits further study to better understand how sexual desire works and how treatments for low sexual interest could be improved. Nimbi FM,Tripodi F, Rossi R, et al. Male Sexual Desire: An Overview of Biological, Psychological, Sexual, Relational, and Cultural Factors Influencing Desire. Sex Med Rev 2020;8:59-91.

Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction: The Role of Perceived (Non)problematic Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Gay and Heterosexual Men

Sexual desire discrepancy has been associated with sexual and relationship dissatisfaction. Nonetheless, little is known regarding the role of desire discrepancy in gay men, as main research has been systematically conducted with heterosexual couples. Also, only one study has focused on problematic sexual desire discrepancies and sexual satisfaction with lesbian women. This study sought to understand if perceived sexual desire discrepancy influences sexual and relationship satisfaction in men, and to explore differences according to sexual orientation. A total of 346 men (245 heterosexual and 101 gay) completed an online survey and answered sociodemographic questions, a specific question about sexual desire discrepancy, and completed the Global Measure of Sexual Satisfaction and the Global Measure of Relationship Satisfaction. The main findings showed differences in sexual and relationship satisfaction according to sexual desire discrepancy groups, with men who experienced no desire discrepancy being more satisfied within their relationship and sex life compared to men who experienced both problematic and nonproblematic sexual desire discrepancy. Additionally, men who experienced nonproblematic sexual desire discrepancy reported being more sexually and relationship satisfied than men who experienced problematic sexual desire discrepancy. No sexual orientation differences were found. Overall, current findings emphasize the role of (non)problematic desire discrepancy in sexual and relationship satisfaction among heterosexual and gay men.

Viewing Sexual Desire as Stable Versus Fluid: The Impact of Implicit Beliefs on Women's Coping With Sexual Desire Problems

Our goal was to examine how implicit theories can be applied to understanding women's coping responses to sexual problems. The belief that sexual desire changes over time is a type of incremental theory, while the belief that sexual desire is stable is a type of entity theory (Dweck, 2012 ). We examined how different implicit theories of sexual desire influence how women cope with sexual desire challenges. Also, we sought to determine whether women's perceptions of experiencing a sexual desire challenge moderate the relationship between their implicit beliefs and their coping responses. We randomly assigned women to read an article designed to induce either an entity or incremental theory about sexual desire. We further asked them to indicate how true it is that they have experienced, or are likely to experience, a sexual desire problem (1 = not at all true to 4 = very true). They then completed a measure of coping with desire problems, the Modified Cope Inventory. Results from both studies showed that women primed with entity theories who expected to experience a sexual desire issue reported significantly more negative coping than women primed with incremental theories. Implications of this research and future directions are discussed.

Maintaining Sexual Desire in Long-Term Relationships: A Systematic Review and Conceptual Model

The most universally experienced sexual response is sexual desire. Though research on this topic has increased in recent years, low and high desire are still problematized in clinical settings and the broader culture. However, despite knowledge that sexual desire ebbs and flows both within and between individuals, and that problems with sexual desire are strongly linked to problems with relationships, there is a critical gap in understanding the factors that contribute to maintaining sexual desire in the context of relationships. This article offers a systematic review of the literature to provide researchers, educators, clinicians, and the broader public with an overview and a conceptual model of nonclinical sexual desire in long-term relationships. First, we systematically identified peer-reviewed, English-language articles that focused on the maintenance of sexual desire in the context of nonclinical romantic relationships. Second, we reviewed a total of 64 articles that met inclusion criteria and synthesized them into factors using a socioecological framework categorized as individual, interpersonal, and societal in nature. These findings are used to build a conceptual model of maintaining sexual desire in long-term relationships. Finally, we discuss the limitations of the existing research and suggest clear directions for future research.

Degree and Direction of Sexual Desire Discrepancy are Linked to Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction in Couples Transitioning to Parenthood

Many new parents are concerned that they have different levels of interest in sex than their partner. Understanding the role of desire discrepancies in their sexual and relationship satisfaction could help promote adjustment. In community couples, larger desire discrepancies have been inconsistently linked to lower sexual and relationship satisfaction. However, these studies rarely accounted for both the degree and direction (e.g., which partner has higher desire) of the discrepancy. We surveyed 255 mixed-sex new parent couples to assess their sexual desire, sexual satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction. Using polynomial regression with response surface analysis (RSA), we found that desire discrepancies between partners (i.e., when partners were more mismatched as opposed to matched on their levels of sexual desire) were associated with lower sexual (but not relationship) satisfaction for both partners. However, the direction of desire discrepancy mattered: Parents felt less satisfied when mothers were the higher-desire partner compared to when fathers were the higher-desire partner. In addition, when partners' level of sexual desire was in agreement, they were more sexually and relationally satisfied if both partners reported higher compared to lower desire. Results demonstrate the important role of both the magnitude and direction of desire discrepancies in new parent couples.