Shared secrets versus secrets kept private are linked to better adolescent adjustment

Secrecy in Everyday Life

Secrecy is common, yet we know little about how it plays out in daily life. Most existing research on secrecy is based on methods involving retrospection over long periods of time, failing to capture secrecy "in the wild." Filling this gap, we conducted two studies using intensive longitudinal designs to present the first picture of secrecy in everyday life. We investigated momentary contextual factors and individual differences as predictors of mind-wandering to and concealing secrets. Contextual factors more consistently predicted secrecy experiences than person-level factors. Feeling more negative about a secret predicted a greater likelihood of mind-wandering to the secret. Interacting with the secret target was linked with a greater likelihood of secret concealment. Individual differences were not consistently associated with mind-wandering to secrets. We conclude that daily experiences with secrets may be better predicted by momentary feelings rather than individual differences such as personality traits.

A Developmental Model of the Sexual Minority Closet: Structural Sensitization, Psychological Adaptations, and Post-closet Growth

Across the lifespan, most sexual minority individuals experience the closet-a typically prolonged period in which no significant others know their sexual identity. This paper positions the closet as distinct from stigma concealment given its typical duration in years and absolute removal from sources of support for an often-central identity typically during a developmentally sensitive period. The Developmental Model of the Closet proposed here delineates the vicarious learning that takes place before sexual orientation awareness to shape one's eventual experience of the closet; the stressors that take place after one has become aware of their sexual orientation but has not yet disclosed it, which often takes place during adolescence; and potential lifespan-persistent mental health effects of the closet, as moderated by the structural, interpersonal, cultural, and temporal context of disclosure. The paper outlines the ways in which the model both draws upon and is distinct from earlier models of sexual minority identity formation and proposes several testable hypotheses and future research directions, including tests of multilevel interventions.

Theory of Mind and Concealing vs. Forthcoming Communication in Adolescence

Concealing information requires that adolescents manage the information that they share, which requires cognitive skills, for example, theory of mind (ToM). This study explored motivations for concealment that early adolescents (N = 90, M = 12.81 years, SD = 5.10 months, range 12–14 years, and 58% female) endorsed concealing or disclosing to friends and parents, in relation to their theory of mind. We found that adolescents broadly endorsed disclosure to both parents and friends, even when it might mean they would face consequences, be impolite (by not protecting another’s feelings), or face negative identity-related emotions. We found that ToM ability was associated with a tendency to endorse being forthcoming and sharing information with both friends and parents. These findings provide new insight into how the relation between ToM and concealment may change with age, specifically how in early adolescence it may foster open communication rather than concealment as is the case in early and middle childhood.

How Do Adolescents Manage Information in the Relationship with Their Parents? A Latent Class Analysis of Disclosure, Keeping Secrets, and Lying

The use of disclosure and concealment strategies by adolescents in the relationship with their parents may have important implications for their adjustment. Few studies of adolescents' information management have taken a person-centered approach, yet it is a useful way to understand variations in how they regulate information shared with their parents. This study explored adolescents' information management constellations with their mothers and fathers, and how these patterns differ in terms of perceived need-supportive parenting, autonomous reasons for disclosure, and problematic alcohol use. Three hundred thirty-two Swiss adolescents (45% female; M_age = 15.01 years) reported information management strategies used with each parent (disclosure, keeping secrets, lying), perceptions of maternal and paternal need-supportive parenting (involvement, autonomy support, structure), autonomous reasons for disclosure, and problematic alcohol use. Latent class analyses revealed three classes: Reserved (37%), Communicators (36%), and Deceptive (27%). Comparisons across classes showed that adolescents in the Communicators class reported the highest levels of parental involvement and autonomy support, as well as autonomous reasons for disclosure. Adolescents in the Deceptive class reported the lowest levels of parental involvement and autonomy support, as well as autonomous reasons for disclosure. Associations between classes and problematic alcohol use were also found, such that the likelihood of problem drinking was greater for adolescents in the Deceptive class. These findings underscore the importance of continued information sharing with both parents, and underline how a need-supportive parenting context may encourage adolescents to talk voluntarily.

The Gratification of Psychological Needs and Well-Being Among Turkish Adolescents: An Examination of Direct and Indirect Links

Based on the self-determination theory (SDT), the present study tested a mediational model in a cross-sectional data and found that gratification of basic psychological needs (GBPN; autonomy, relatedness, and competence) in adolescents' relationships with their mother and father is linked with wellness (life satisfaction, problem-solving confidence, and anxiety), through family cohesion, and disclosure and secrecy from mother. Adolescents (N = 1,097; 61.6% girls, M_age  = 15.12, SD = 0.64; range = 14-16 years) were from nine public schools in Istanbul, Turkey. Findings showed that GBPN in the relationship with each parent has unique contribution to family cohesion, adolescent disclosure and secrecy from parents, and wellness. Findings also supported SDT's claim that GBPN is conducive to well-being cross-culturally.

Having a secret reduces charitable giving

Secrecy involves the active concealment of information from others, which can cause undesirable consequences for cognitive, perceptual and health psychology, but empirical research linking secrecy to charitable behaviors remains relatively scarce. This research examined whether secrecy weakens people’s desire to engage in charitable behaviors. Two experiments demonstrated that as a mental burden, secrets decreased people’s donation desire, including their intentions to volunteer and donate, and their tangible charitable behavior. In Experiment 1, recalling a personal secret increased the tendency to donate less money than recalling a neutral experience. Study 2 showed that this weakening effect of secrecy on charitable behaviors is mediated by fatigue (but not negative affect).

Growing Up in Times of COVID-19: When a Window of Opportunity is Temporarily Closed

During the COVID-19 crisis, the governmental restrictions seriously affected the daily lives of adolescents (aged 12–25). They could not attend school, had to limit face-to-face contact with peers, and had to stay at home with their parents. This chapter combines insights from theoretical models on adolescent development with some of the first empirical findings of the impact of COVID-19 on adolescents. We will discuss how lockdown and social distancing measures affect mental health and well-being in a formative and vulnerable period in life. Specifically, the authors focus on delayed attainment of developmental tasks toward adulthood, the importance of friendships, and how parents can promote developmental growth and resilience in a “new common.” Advice is included on how future society can and should be shaped around the developmental needs, risks, and opportunities that characterize adolescence.

Developmental Changes in Secrecy During Middle Adolescence: Links with Alcohol Use and Perceived Controlling Parenting

Adolescence is a developmental period characterized by fundamental transformations in parent-child communication. Although a normative shift in adolescents' secrecy seems to occur in parallel to changes in their drinking behaviors and in their perceptions of the relationship with their parents, relatively little attention has been paid to their associations over time. The present longitudinal study examined the associations between developmental changes in adolescents' secrecy, alcohol use, and perceptions of controlling parenting during middle adolescence, using a latent growth curve approach. At biannual intervals for two consecutive years, a sample of 473 Swiss adolescents (64.7% girls) beginning their last year of mandatory school (mean age at Time 1 = 14.96) completed self-report questionnaires about secrecy, alcohol use, and perceived controlling parenting. The results of the univariate models showed mean level increases in secrecy and alcohol use, but stable levels in controlling parenting over time. The results of a parallel-process model indicated that higher initial levels of secrecy were associated with higher initial levels of alcohol use and perceived controlling parenting, while an increase in secrecy was associated with an increase in alcohol use and an increase in perceived controlling parenting over time. In addition, adolescents who reported the lowest initial levels of perceived controlling parenting showed a greater increase in secrecy over time and those with high initial levels of secrecy reported a relative decrease in perceived controlling parenting. Finally, adolescents with the lowest initial levels of alcohol use experienced a greater increase in secrecy. Overall, these results indicate that the development of adolescents' secrecy is associated with the development of their drinking habits and perceptions of family relationships in dynamic ways.

Adolescents' Well-Being with Respect to the Patterns of Disclosure to and Secrecy from Parents and the Best Friend: A Person-Centered Examination

Adolescents' disclosure and secrecy behaviors have important implications for their well-being. Previous research examined adolescent disclosure and secrecy mostly in one close relationship (i.e., one's mother). What remains to be addressed is the patterns of disclosure and secrecy considering adolescents' other close relationships and the well-being differences between these patterns. Adopting a person-centered approach, the current study examined constellations of disclosure and secrecy in adolescents' relationships with their mother, father and best friends, and the extent to which these patterns differ with respect to life satisfaction, problem-solving confidence, and anxiety. The sample consisted of middle adolescents (N = 1097; M_age = 15.12; range = 14-16; 61.6% female) from nine public schools in Istanbul, Turkey. Analysis conducted for the whole sample showed that best friends were the most frequently disclosed confidants followed by mothers, and secrecy was similar for best friends and mothers. Adolescents were least likely to disclose to their fathers and keep secrets from them more frequently. Comparisons of the five classes identified with latent profile analysis, however, indicated that the class with the best well-being status (highest life satisfaction, problem-solving confidence, and lowest anxiety) consisted of adolescents who disclosed most often to their mothers, seconded by best friends, and kept secrets less often from their parents than their best friends. The class with the lowest well-being status consisted of adolescents who had lowest disclosure and highest secrecy in three close relationships. Overall, findings underscored the usefulness of person-centered analytic approach showing that while best friends were the primary confidents when examined with a variable-centered approach, adolescents with the highest well-being status reported to disclose most often to their mothers. This finding underlines the importance of sharing personal information and being less secretive especially with mothers in adolescence.

Motivational differences and similarities between concealment and disclosure processes

Self-concealment and self-disclosure may initially appear as the opposite sides of the same coin. Although these two constructs are related, they involve different cognitive and motivational processes. This article briefly reviews the recent literature and discusses the differences and similarities between concealment and disclosure in terms of motivational processes. An emphasis is given on self-determination theory and basic psychological needs. Future directions involve a refinement on whether concealment and disclosure differ in terms of basic need satisfaction and frustration, examining the role of self-determined and controlled motivation in secrecy, and whether self-disclosure also involves cognitively intrusive mental processes.

Confiding Secrets and Well-Being

How does confiding secrets relate to well-being? The current work presents the first empirical examination of mechanisms by which confiding diverse real-world secrets to known others predicts well-being. We examined over 800 participants with more than 10,000 secrets in total, finding that confiding a secret does not predict reduced instances of concealment. Rather, confiding a secret predicts higher well-being through perceived coping efficacy. Correlational and experimental studies find that through confiding a secret, people feel they obtain social support and are more capable in coping with the secret. Additionally, through perceived coping efficacy, confiding a secret predicts less frequent mind wandering to the secret. Confiding predicts higher well-being through changing the way and how often people think about their secret.

To Whom Do We Confide Our Secrets?

Although prior work has examined secret keeping, no prior work has examined who gets told secrets. Five studies find compassion and assertiveness predict having secrets confided in oneself (as determined by both self- and peer reports), whereas enthusiasm and politeness were associated with having fewer secrets confided. These results bolster suggestions that interpersonal aspects of personality (which can fit a circumplex structure) are driven by distinct causal forces. While both related to agreeableness, compassion (empathy and desire to help) predicts being confided in more, whereas politeness (concern with social norms and social rules) predicts being confided in less. Likewise, while both related to extraversion, assertiveness (having the agency and drive to help) predicts being confided in more, whereas enthusiasm (positive sociality) predicts being confided in less.

Truth or Punishment: Secrecy and Punishing the Self

We live in a world that values justice; when a crime is committed, just punishment is expected to follow. Keeping one’s misdeed secret therefore appears to be a strategic way to avoid (just) consequences. Yet, people may engage in self-punishment to right their own wrongs to balance their personal sense of justice. Thus, those who seek an escape from justice by keeping secrets may in fact end up serving that same justice on themselves (through self-punishment). Six studies demonstrate that thinking about secret (vs. confessed) misdeeds leads to increased self-punishment (increased denial of pleasure and seeking of pain). These effects were mediated by the feeling one deserved to be punished, moderated by the significance of the secret, and were observed for both self-reported and behavioral measures of self-punishment.

Keeping secrets from friends: Exploring the effects of friendship quality, loneliness and self-esteem on secrecy

The tendency to keep secrets in adolescents has been studied in particular in their relationships with their parents and associated with psychosocial disadvantages. The current study focused on peer relationships and investigated the effects of friendship quality, loneliness in a multidimensional perspective, and self-esteem on secrecy from friends. Italian adolescents (N = 457; 47% male; 100% white) aged between 13 and 19 years (M = 16.11; SD = 1.53) reported their secrecy from friends, peer and parent-related loneliness, aversion and affinity for aloneness, their self-esteem and the quality of their relationships with their friends. The results showed that peer-related loneliness, affinity for aloneness and self-esteem in particular affect keeping secrets from friends, independent of the participant's gender. Moreover, peer-related loneliness and affinity for aloneness mediated the relationship between self-esteem and secrecy. The data were discussed in the light of adolescence developmental tasks.

The mediating role of secrecy in the development of psychopathology in sexually abused children

Although child sexual abuse (CSA) is associated with psychopathology, limited research examined mechanisms through which CSA leads to psychopathology in children. It is generally assumed that CSA is associated with secrecy among children, to our knowledge this assumption has not yet been empirically tested. This gap in our understanding of the aftermath of CSA is surprising in light of abundant evidence linking secrecy to psychopathology among children. The current study examined whether, as compared to children who have not experienced CSA, CSA victims have a greater tendency for secrecy as reported by mothers and children, and whether psychopathology in CSA victims may be explained by their tendency to keep secrets. Sixty-three non-offending mothers and their sexually abused children (68.3% female; M age=10.89) and 48 mothers and their non-abused children (62.5% female; M age=11.17) completed questionnaires on secrecy and psychopathology (i.e., internalizing and externalizing behavior problems). Mothers of abused children perceived higher levels of secrecy and psychopathology in their children as compared to mothers of non-abused children. There were no differences in child-reported secrecy between abused and non-abused children. Mediation analyses revealed that mother-reported secrecy mediated the association between CSA and psychopathology. These findings suggest that secrecy is a potential mechanism underlying psychopathology associated with CSA, which has important implications for treatment of abused children.

Associations among solicitation, relationship quality, and adolescents' disclosure and secrecy with mothers and best friends

Disclosure and secrecy with mothers and best friends about personal, bad behavior, and multifaceted (e.g., staying out late) activities were examined using daily diaries among 102 ethnically diverse, urban middle adolescents (M = 15.18 years, SD = .89). Adolescents disclosed more and kept fewer secrets from best friends than from mothers and more frequently disclosed and kept secrets about their personal than their bad behavior and multifaceted activities. Better daily relationship quality was associated with more disclosure about personal and multifaceted activities and less secrecy about bad behaviors for both mothers and best friends. Overall, when mothers solicited information, adolescents disclosed more but also kept more secrets from them, whereas best friends' solicitation was mostly associated with more disclosure.

Will They or Won't They? Secret Telling in Interpersonal Interactions

This study investigated predictors of within-gender secret telling. Eighty-eight participants were exposed to either a "positive" or a "negative" secret about another individual. Just under 20% of participants told the secret. Conscientiousness, secret condition, empathy, and the conscientiousness by secret condition interaction had effects on the rate of secret telling, χ(2) (5,82) = 17.78, p = .003, AIC = 80.60. Conscientiousness had a negative effect on secret telling among participants that told the "negative" secret.